Friday, February 28, 2014

Teacher Accidentally Shows Amputee Porn To His Students

"The bungling KV Zürich Business School educator reportedly forgot to turn off the overhead projector as he surfed the adult material online.

As his students sat peacefully with their heads buried inside their books, he decided to take a sneak peek at several hardcore movies and pics of naked women with amputated limbs.
Unluckily for him, it was also projected onto the wall for all his pupils to see.

 One kid took a picture of the incident and uploaded it online — and, unsurprisingly, it soon went viral.

"I am shocked," school director René Portenier told the newspaper 20 Minutes. "After the lesson the teacher immediately came to see me and admitted he'd watched porn films on a school computer. He was very embarrassed and couldn't tell me why he did it," Portenier added. The Local reports that the teacher has temporarily been allowed to continue in his role.

Homeowners Cry Over Spilt Milk

"The homeowners were inside at the time but escaped without injury. Their son says his parents were about to sit down for dinner, when they felt the thunderous crash just feet from where they were. Crews were amazed they were not injured. The driver escaped injury as well."

Thursday, February 27, 2014

How Hot Dogs Are REALLY Made. Prepare To Gasp And Gag!!

Travel inside a real, working hot dog factory in this rare, behind-the-scenes footage. Learn about the fillers and chemicals used to keep wieners cheap and delicious.

Join us as we take you inside the factory where words like slurry, puree and amalgam are thrown around like they're supposed to be food.

Meatball The Cat Saves 11 People From A Raging House Fire

"Somebody got to get me cheezeburgers!"

"Almost a dozen people in southern France are thanking their lucky stars, and a cat named 'Meatball,' for their lives today after the alert feline woke up her owner who in turn woke ten others to warn them of a house fire.
According to Meatball's owner, Alexandra Marlin, it was the cat - and not her smoke alarm - that woke her from a deep sleep in the early hours of Sunday morning.  Meatball's frantic scratching roused Marlin from her sleep and alerted her to the smell of smoke coming from the attic of the farmhouse where she lived.  Marlin rushed to wake up the other seven adults and three children living in the home and called firefighters.  
In the chaos, Marlin was separated from Meatball and feared the worst.  But fortunately, the cat resurfaced on her own within a few hours.  
As for the neighbors, they are very grateful to Meatball for saving their lives and have offered to supply her with a year's worth of cat treats for her efforts."

Dogs Steal Owners Truck, Take It For A Joyride

"The dogs, Roscoe and Luna, were inside their owner's truck at the top of the hill on 25th Street. In a matter of minutes, they were barreling across Riverside Drive and into the Arkansas River river bed.

"It's an expensive joy ride," the dogs' owner, Scott said.

Scott told Fox 23 he left his dogs inside
his truck for about 15 minutes while he went inside a home.

"I got around
to the front of the house where the truck was, and it's like not there," he said. "And I was like 'did I get towed?' and I just thought no it didn't."

One of the dogs put the car into gear and they took off.

"Approximately three blocks down a hill," Tulsa firefighter Clay Ayers said.

The dogs missed drivers on Riverside Drive, runners on the trail and narrowly missed landing in the Arkansas River.

"Two boys on skateboards seen the vehicle leave in front of the residence and they did try to catch up with it with no luck," said Ayers."


New Doughnut Shop Will Sell No Doughnuts

No doughnut for you!

"A doughnut shop chain won't be selling doughnuts at a new Massachusetts location.

Quincy's licensing board this week approved a plan for Honey Dew Donuts to open a shop inside the city's new $30 million YMCA.

A spokeswoman for the Y tells The Patriot Ledger ( ) that because of the organization's emphasis on physical fitness, no doughnuts will be sold. The shop will sell coffee, low-fat muffins, salads, sandwiches, yogurt, fruit cups and smoothies. All menu items must be approved by the Y.

According to Honey Dew's website, its low-fat muffins contain more calories and sugar than many of its doughnuts."


Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Woman Injects Poop Into Husbands IV Line

That was a crappy thing to do.

"Rose Mary Vogel was in a Chandler Regional Medical Center recovery room with her 66-year-old husband around 1:30 p.m. Thursday after he underwent surgery on his heart, according to the police report.
Vogel is a retired nurse who had worked at Chandler Regional, police said.

"This was not your typical Rose Mary. It was like another person or a demon got a hold of her or she snapped," said neighbor Mary Lola Reese. Reese, and her husband John have known Mary Rose Vogel and her husband for more than a decade and never saw anything out of the ordinary.

"They seemed very happy. We never expected anything," said John Reese.

The Vogel's next door neighbor of 11 years, Harvey Zehnder, agreed with the Reeses.  "Nothing ever led me to believe there were any problems," said Zehnder.

Two nurses walked in and found Vogel handling the IV when an IV pump alarm went off. They said they saw Vogel touching the pump and that Vogel told them the line needed to be flushed, according to the report.

Another nurse found a brown substance in the line, removed it from the patient's arm and said there was a fecal odor to the line. She capped the line and went for help, according to the report.

When she returned, she found Vogel trying to empty the IV bag into the trash, but the nurse grabbed it away from her, according to the report.

The substance was tested in a hospital lab and was positive for traces of fecal matter."

Read it all HERE

Rocket Cats Planned For Use As Weapons Of War 500 Years Ago

"I'm a rocket cat,  burning out his fuse up here alone!"

They are a unique weapon, designed to infiltrate a city under siege.
A University of Pennsylvania experts has revealed plans to turn pets into weapons.
Texts from the 16th Century reveal the unique project to put timed explosives onto pet birds and cats, dubbed 'rocket cats' due to their appearance.



The rocket cats and birds would be used in cities under siege.
Forces would wait for animals to emerge, capture them once they ventured outside the city.

Then, explosives and a fuse would be attached, and the animal left to return to its home - where it would explode.
Mitch Fraas of the University of Pennsylvania said he was first alerted to the cats by a friend.

'Someone sent me an email that linked to an Australian site with images from a manuscript we have in our archive,' he told MailOnline.

'He said said there was a cat-rocket thing in it.'

'They looked ridiculous, and it was the first time I'd seen them.
'I didn't think it was a rocket pack, but was intrigued - they look surreal.

Read more:
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

Here are some modern Rocket Cats,  weapons of meow destruction!:

'57 Chevy Stolen 30 Years Ago Gets Returned To Owner, And In Mint Condition

"Twice in the early 1980s, thieves stole Skip Wilson's prized 1957 Chevrolet Bel Air, one of the most coveted cars among collectors.

Monday, after 30 years and four other owners, it came home to Northern California — fully restored since it last vanished, in 1984.

"Somebody put a whole lot of work and money into that car," the 65-year-old auto mechanic from Clearlake Oaks told the Santa Rosa Press Democrat. "It was all disassembled and put back."

The California Highway Patrol notified Wilson three weeks ago that U.S. Customs inspectors found his hot wheels at the Port of Los Angeles inside a shipping container full of cars bound for Australia."

Read more HERE

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Rat Baked Into Birthday Cake Revolts Poor 96 Year Old

What a rat cake may look like

"A New York grocery chain said it never had a rodent complaint before a 96-year-old Long Island man claimed he found a dead rat baked into his birthday cake.

King Kullen bakery said in a written statement this weekend that it had recalled everything from the shelves of its bakeries, which are located inside its grocery stores.

"Product has been removed from the bakery and the premises has undergone a thorough inspection," the statement said. "There are no known safety or rodent issues in this bakery."

But Neil Gold said there was at least one rodent issue. His aged uncle Joe allegedly got a rude surprise last week at his birthday celebration when he noted his German apple ring cake had a somewhat ratty taste to it.

"He said, 'It doesn't taste right,'" Gold told WABC-TV in New York. We flipped it (the cake) over and seemed to be a rat's tail."

Cow Porn Ring Busted By Farmer

Don't have a cow man.

"Two men are facing criminal charges for allegedly filming porn videos with a farmer’s cows.

The farmer says he grew suspicious when his cows stopped producing as much milk and “seemed anxious.” So he set up a hidden camera to see what was going on in the barn when he wasn’t there.

Authorities say the cameras showed two men breaking into the barn in the middle of the night with a video camera. 35-year old Michael Jones is accused of running the camera while 31-year old Reid Fontaine performed sex acts with the cows.

The farmer then called the police and turned the surveillance tape over to them. The two would-be pornographers were arrested for misdemeanor sexual misconduct and released."


Protip! Don't Call 911 If You Need A Date

One lonely lady

"A Punta Gorda woman was arrested Friday night for misuse of 911, after asking dispatchers to send an officer she found attractive back to her home for some 'extra duty.'

Police say the initial 911 call happened just after 6 p.m., when Maria Montenez-Colon complained that she wanted her Corvette back.

When the officer arrived at the Almar Drive home, he said Montenez-Colon was very drunk.

The 58-year-old immediately told the officer he was sexy and asked if he was married, according to the incident report. Then she started over-sharing.

Montenez-Colon allegedly told the officer, "I haven't been penetrated in years," and "I am so horny."
The officer tried to steer the conversation back to the topic of the call, asking what he could do for her.
Montenez-Colon's response was "You can fuck me!" according to the report."

 Read it all HERE

Monday, February 24, 2014

New Condom Creates Electric Shock For Penis Pleasure

The Shocking Invention

"Created by Andrew Quitmeyer, the Electric Eel is an open source digital condom that performs the action of its namesake ocean dweller and delivers mild electric stimulation to the wearer’s penis. The final product promises to be less terrifying than the above image of a condom hooked up to a battery. The current prototype is built with a conductive fabric and Lilypad microcontroller. It sends a small shock through the bottom of the condom in order to provide stimulation to the underside of the penis. The amount of electric stimulation sent to your penis is obviously small — just enough to provide stimulation rather than electrocute you through a very sensitive part of your body.

The members of the development team have personally tested the Electric Eel themselves, those heroes."

Read much more HERE

11 Million Cigarettes Wash Ashore At The Village Of Beer

"A huge shipping container holding around 11 million cigarettes has washed up on a beach – just one mile from Beer.

The vessel – bearing 14 tonnes of tobacco – is one of a reported 517 lost from a cargo ship in the Bay of Biscay last week.

It washed just a mile from Beer – the Devon village which shares its name with the drink often enjoyed with a cigarette.

One beachgoer told the Western Daily Press: “Beer always makes it hard to resist a fag, but it’s even harder when 11 million wash up on your doorstep.”

Walmart Madness #121! Walmart's Donkey Meat Tainted With Fox Meat In China

"The fox doesn't say "Hee Haw" you idiots!"

"The horsemeat scandal of last year may be fading in Britons’ memories but donkey meat has had to be recalled in China after tests showed the products contained fox DNA.

Wal-Mart , the owner of Asda, has stopped the sale of “Five Spice” donkey meat sold at some of its stores and said it would reimburse customers who bought the meat, a popular food in some parts of China."


Gigantic Mango Stolen From Australian Park, King Kong Wanted For Questioning

Alas,  the mango is no more!

"Thieves armed with heavy machinery and cranes made a daring midnight heist in northern Australia, stealing a 10-metre, seven-tonne mango monument, officials said Monday.

The Big Mango, a towering likeness of the fruit which is abundant in the statue's hometown of Bowen, in Queensland, is one of more than 150 "Big Things" erected as kitschy tourist attractions across Australia.
The famous fruit, which was unveiled in 2002, appeared to have been harvested overnight in an ambitious raid, said Bowen Tourism chairman Paul McLaughlin.

"It looks like it was sort of two o'clock this morning-type thing. There was ... some heavy equipment and it looks like they've taken the mango," McLaughlin told the Australian Broadcasting Corporation.

He said he thought it was a joke when he was first informed of the mango's abduction but "I've come out and sure enough the mango has disappeared". McLaughlin said there was surveillance camera footage of the heist and he was sure the plundered fruit would be found.

"At the end of the day it's a bloody big mango and I'm sure someone will see it and we'll find it anyway," he told the Brisbane Times.

"I think it'll definitely turn up, no doubt about that. We're not sure what has happened but I'm sure we'll get it back."

There are giant fruits all over Australia, including the Big Banana, the Big Pineapple, the Big Strawberry and multiple Big Apples and Oranges.

There are also giant fishes, a lobster, penguin, kangaroo, koalas, and even a giant cask of wine.
Bowen is known as the mango production capital of Australia."


Nearly Frozen Panther Kitten Rescued! (With Panther Kitten Video Goodness!)

Video: Day 1 - 1/23/14 - A single male kitten is discovered in the den of FP195. The 7-day-old kitten is cold (hypothermic) and listless and shows signs of hypoglycemia. FWC panther biologists determine the tiny 1-pound kitten will not survive in this state without intervention and that it's best chance for its survival is if they rescue him. The biologists take the kitten to the Animal Specialty Hospital of Florida (ASH) in Naples, where veterinarians and staff perform life-saving measures.

Day 2 - 1/24/14 - FWC panther biologists visit UCFP205 at the Animal Specialty Hospital of Florida (ASH) the day after his rescue to assess his condition. UCFP205 improved greatly and was responding as a healthy 7-day-old panther kitten should but still required 24-hour care. Biologists and veterinarians are pleased with the progress the kitten has made and are optimistic about his survival.

Week 2: Biologists and veterinarians are pleased with the progress the kitten has made and are optimistic about his survival.

13 Tons Of Molten Metal Poured Onto Unfortunate Worker

What a way to go.

"A plant worker has died after 13 tons of molten metal were tipped over him, police said Monday.
Kazuki Tada, 23, was working Saturday morning beneath a huge bucket containing an alloy that had been heated to around 1,300 degrees Celsius at a Nippon Denko plant in Anan, Tokushima Prefecture
The bucket, which was suspended in mid-air, overbalanced, pouring the molten metal on Tada, police said.
An investigation into the accident is under way, a local police spokesman said."


Sunday, February 23, 2014

Woman Makes Special Bank Deposit On Bank Teller

"The assailant who beat the bank security pretended to be one of the customers, only to pour the smelly faeces on the busy cashier claiming that she snatched her husband. The stench took over the banking hall just as all the customers ran to the door to escape the odour.

It was gathered that management of the bank arranged for the cashier immediately to wash her body and to change to a new cloth after the incident.

A banker had stated thus “All of us, including my colleague who was assaulted, were busy attending to customers when the young lady came in and started raining abusive words on the victim, in an embarrassing way. She called her unprintable names and accused her of snatching her husband.

“We were shocked and we tried to shout her down only for her to open a polythene bag she carried, thinking that she wanted to make some deposit but what she brought out shocked everybody.

“She removed the bag containing the terribly smelly faeces which she instantly poured on her victim."


Depressed Man Throws Himself To Tigers. Tigers Reject Depressed Man

In the above photo the tigers try to play with and cheer him.

"Entering the tiger enclosure at the Chengdu Zoo in China’s southwest Sichuan province, a man made vigorous, but unsuccessful, attempts to entice the animals to eat him, a Chinese newspaper reported on Tuesday.

“I asked them to bite me and let them eat my meat, and so I did not fight back,” 27-year old Yang Jinhai told the Chengdu Business Daily.

Yang, who according to his brother suffers from mental health issues, climbed a tree to breach the enclosure. Stunned visitors witnessed how he made “exaggerated movements” for 20 minutes to tempt the Bengal tigers, but while scratching him and dragging him by the back of his neck, the beasts refused to devour him.
Zoo keepers finally tranquilized the tigers in order to rescue Yang, who is now being treated for depression.

Crane Catches Car!

A car passing a large crane somehow gets caught by the cranes hook:

Saturday, February 22, 2014

The Caturday Report! Catasaurus Rex Finds A Home

Goooood kitty kitty!

"At almost 21 pounds and 40 inches long, colossal kitty Pickles is a monster moggy. He was rehomed twice because he didn't play well with other cats - but he's now found a loving home where his size doesn't matter. New owners Andrew Milicia and Emily Zervos adopted problem pet Pickles after spotting him at a Boston MSPCA shelter -- and are still getting to grips with their giant cat."

Friday, February 21, 2014

Ice Cream Man Robbed At Gunpoint By Little Boy

"And don't even think about giving me plain vanilla!"

"A child used a gun to rob an ice cream truck Thursday, according to San Diego police.

The ice cream truck driver told police he was held up at the corner of Black Oak Road and Meadowbrook Drive Thursday just before 7 p.m.

San Diego police said a boy approached the truck on foot, displayed the handgun and demanded cash.

Once he got the money, the boy got away riding a skateboard.

Officers said the boy was described as 10 to 12 years old and about 100 pounds, wearing a white T-shirt and red basketball shorts."

Man Beaten Upside The Head With Icicle And Robbed

+2 damage for the surprise attack

"A man in Windsor was left beaten and bloody after a robber hit him in the head with an icicle.

Birdsill said the man claimed he was trying to get in contact with his cousin who went to the high school down the road.

The man came back 10 minutes later, knocked again, but this time, punched Birdsill in the face repeatedly when the door opened.

Another man then smashed an icicle over Birdsill's head.

State Police said the two men also held a knife to Birdsill's throat demanding drugs and money.

"There are a lot of daytime burglaries," said Fred Goodall, senior investigator for New York State Police. "Especially with the increased value in gold and silver and people are breaking into homes for what change they can find and what jewelry they can find."

The two men got away with about $80 in cash and prescription pain medicine."


Thursday, February 20, 2014

Pussy Riot Gets Whipped By Cossacks

"Members of Russian protest punk group Pussy Riot were beaten by horse whip-wielding Cossacks when they performed next to the Olympic rings in front of Sochi City Hall on February 19. With balaclavas covering their heads, the band shouted: "Putin will teach you how to love the motherland!" in a tongue-in-cheek show that saw them joined by a person dressed as an Olympic mascot to make the performance more sarcastic.

The gig was up three minutes later when Cossacks and security officials showed up. They pepper sprayed and whipped band members, pulled off their masks and threw a plastic guitar in a garbage can. A man in bright yellow tank top was beaten and was bleeding from his face. Witnesses were questioned, but no one was arrested."

Burglars Smash Car Into Store For A Case Of Bud Light

They probably would have done better stealing a case of water...

"Police are looking for two suspects who crashed a car into a Houston-area convenience store and stole an 18-pack of beer. The incident was caught on surveillance video. (Feb. 18)"

Security Chief Masturbates Into Employees Shoe

"If the shoe fits,  wear it!"

"[The man] is accused ejaculating into a shoe belonging to a female Concordia employee on the night of Feb. 10, said River Forest Deputy Police Chief Jim O’Shea.

According to police, the employee reported seeing Margis exit her office around 9:30 p.m. while buttoning up his pants and fastening his belt. When the woman confronted Margis about what he was doing in her office, he allegedly stated that he was checking the room because the door had been left open.

Police said that after Margis left, the employee discovered a “clear liquid” inside one of her shoes, which had been left in the office.

Detectives interviewed Margis on Feb. 12 at his home and he later admitted to entering the office and committing a lewd act there, police said."


Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Man In Porta-Potty Gets Taken For A Ride

"A Hanford worker was taken for a ride in a portable toilet when it was picked up by a fork lift driver who didn't realize it was occupied.

The Tri-City Herald reports the passenger was not injured in a 15-foot move earlier this month across a gravel road. The driver heard the man yelling inside and let him out.

Washington Closure Hanford spokesman Todd Nelson says it's a reminder for workers to follow procedures and double-check.

The fork lift operator had looked at the door and thought the occupancy indicator showed that no one was inside."


Man Killed Over Fried Chicken Foot

Worth dying over?

"A Tampa man has been charged with manslaughter after an investigation revealed that he beat his roommate to death following a disagreement about a chicken foot, according to Tampa police.

James Jugo, 52, admitted in an interview with detectives Saturday that he beat his roommate, 56-year-old Benjamin Calderon, with his fist after an argument about some stolen food, police said.

The fight started Friday night when Jugo took a chicken foot from a skillet as Calderon cooked in the apartment they shared, police said.

Officers were later called to the apartment to investigate an "unexplained death."

An autopsy revealed that Calderon suffered internal bleeding after being hit numerous times about the face, neck and body, police said. A witness told police that she saw Jugo hit Calderon with a board.
Jugo was charged and booked in jail Saturday. He is being held on $15,000 bail."


Read more here:

Chihuahua Gangs Terrorize Arizona Town

"Drop The Taco Bell And Step Away!"

"In a report that seems like it was lifted right out of the public service announcement highlight reel from Talladega Nights, the town of Maryvale, Arizona is currently dealing with a horrifying problem that is forcing many residents to live as prisoners in their own homes. According to My Fox Phoenix, packs of stray Chihuahuas are roaming the streets and actively recruiting other stray dogs to join their mangy gang of rejects, and they’re all barking and pooping like they own the place.

Fortunately, one brave reporter was able to set out for the most important local news story of the year, or maybe just this hour, and he asked all of the questions that need to be asked, like, “How many dogs are there?” That’s a pretty important question, because there doesn’t seem to be an exact number. Some people say 15, while one guy said 12, and all of the pictures they show have just one or three dogs, and I keep laughing because Chihuahuas are the dumbest-looking little dogs ever.

Saturday, February 1, 2014

The Caturday Report! Colonel Meow Has Passed Away.

It happened a few days ago,  and the news has been all over - but I would be in remiss not to include a homage to the great Colonel Meow Here.  Rest in peace Colonel,  and have a happy Caturday wherever you are over that rainbowed bridge.

"I will miss you on earth old friend. Let's go space fishing soon. I'll bring the yogurt, you bring the rods. Colonel Meow forever."  - Lil BUB

for more click here