Dead Hooker Rises From Coffin!

There was drama at Manor Hotel in Bulawayo after a woman who had been presumed dead after collapsing while allegedly having sex suddenly woke up just after police officers had put her body into a coffin.

The incident occurred on Tuesday last week at about 12pm. Sources said the woman woke up saying: "You want to kill me, you want to kill me!"

A number of people who had gathered to witness the woman's "dead" body being removed from a room at the hotel reportedly fled from the scene. Some are said to have fallen while others tripped over each other in fear of the 'resurrected' woman.

"It was like a movie. People were running away in different directions. It was a scary incident because we were all convinced that she had died because she was just cold. Miracles surely do happen," said a source.

According to the source, police officers who attended the scene seemed moved by the woman's rise from the dead but kept their cool and tried to calm her while she accused them of trying to kill her.

Read more about the undead hooker HERE

Man Tries To Sell Daughter To Make Bail For Girlfriend

A Kingsport man has been arrested for allegedly agreeing to sell his 6-year-old daughter for $1,500 — telling his assumed buyer that he needed the money to bond his girlfriend out of jail.

Shawn Wayne Hughes, 32, of 1028 Fairway Ave., was arrested by Kingsport Police on Wednesday afternoon. He was located in the parking lot of Eastman Credit Union on Wilcox Drive, reportedly thinking that's where he'd exchange his daughter for cash.

He was instead met by Kingsport officers, who had previously listened in on his alleged verbal agreement with a concerned family member. During the phone conversation Hughes also allegedly agreed to sign over custodial rights to the buyer, a 75-year-old woman who accepted his terms under direction of police.

SOURCE

The Caturday Report! The Worlds Oldest Cat Turns 27!

The cat, known as Waddy, didn’t have the best start after being born the runt of the litter and was even thrown out by his owners.
His life began to turn around when he was adopted by 66-year-old Ann Munday in Ravensden, Bedfordshire when he was just four weeks old.
‘I’ve always had cats, but he is an absolute dream and he has been a fantastic companion since my husband died 13 years ago,’ she explained.
‘He was a tiny and very poorly little thing so it’s a miracle he has survived.’
Waddy has been treated by the same vet ever since meaning he has records to prove his age.
‘He doesn’t have any back claws so he is a house cat, but can go for a run in the garden,’ Ms Munday added.
‘Now he is like a little old man and mainly sleeps and eats. He has some ailments but he still gets up on my bed and the table.’

SOURCE

Walmart Madness #80! Hammer Attack!

<--- Terry "The Hammer" Glover

Village police allege Terry Glover struck a man in the head during an attempted robbery at the Walmart in the 2700 block of 10th Avenue North. The incident happened just after 6:30 p.m. Monday, police said.
The report does not list a current address for Glover. He faces a charge of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. He remains in custody late Tuesday in lieu of $25,000 bond.
The attack victim was taken to JFK Medical Center in Atlantis for treatment. He told police he had briefly gone outside the store when Glover allegedly walked up to him and began hitting him with the hammer.
Police did not release the injured man’s name. The man had teeth knocked out during the attack and also had visible marks on his knees and forearms, police said.

Read the whole story HERE

Brain Freeze Contest Ends In Tragedy

I have no more information on this - hope she didn't die:



Brain Freeze Contest Ends In Painful Fail - Watch More Funny Videos

Doctors Killed Patients To Free Up Hospital Beds

<---Virginia Helena Soares de Souza recruited a group of doctors to help administer lethal doses of anesthetics, sedatives and painkillers, according to authorities.

In addition, the group allegedly altered oxygen levels for patients, leading to deaths by asphyxiation, police said.


Prosecutors allege de Souza pulled the plug on victims against the wishes of patients and their families, and in so doing broke the law. She did that to free up beds in the ICU and clear up the "clutter" the patients were causing, according to police.

De Souza was arrested in February, but was later released until trial. Her court appearance Wednesday is part of mandated monthly appearances to avoid going back to jail.

More on this HERE

Flame On! Flame Throwing Gloves

A demo of the prototype of the flame glove system. Final system would be more streamlined with hoses, cables, and gloves reduced in size and integrated into performers costume.

I hope they show the finished flame gloves soon!

Walmart Madness #79! Man Shoots Deer In Parking Lot

They say you can get almost anything at Wal-Mart. But the Pennsylvania Game Commission says one deer hunter took it too far.

Forty-year-old Arcangelo Bianco Jr. is charged with reckless endangerment and hunting law violations for allegedly shooting across a highway to kill a 10-point buck he spotted in a Wal-Mart parking lot in November.

Defense attorney Jason Huska declined comment Wednesday on the specific allegations but says his client denies wrongdoing. Bianco faces a preliminary hearing May 1 on charges reported by the Indiana Gazette (http://bit.ly/YEmOVY).

Wildlife Conservation Officer Jack Lucas says Bianco fired several shots in the parking lot then retrieved the deer from the side of the highway opposite the store, about 30 miles east of Pittsburgh.
Lucas says the buck is one of the nicest taken in the county in recent years.
___
Information from: The Indiana Gazette, http://www.indianagazette.com

Man Exposed Friend To Radiation So He Could Be Immortal

A Moscow college teacher, detained for storing radioactive materials, claimed he needed them to make his friend immortal by exposing him to radiation, a police source said on Monday.
Moscow’s police detained at the end of last week a 35-year-old teacher in the western part of the city and discovered six kilograms of radioactive substances and another eight kilograms in his garage, the source said.
The detainee explained that he had a friend who was convinced he could become immortal through exposure to fissionable materials and even visited the zone of the Chernobyl nuclear accident for this purpose. The two collected contaminated items to continue the treatment.

SOURCE

Cat Walks Dog Home

I missed doing the Caturday Report, so I'll just leave this here. :) (Just now going viral)

Valparaiso Urban Downhill Race Winner Cam Footage 2013

You gotta see this!  This is one of the most unique downhill mountain bike racers you will ever see. Racers bomb down a course through the steep and gnarly streets of Valparaiso Chile.

Woman Builds Shrine For Kitten Found In Large Sausage

A woman who found the body of a young kitten inside a sausage she was eating made a small shrine for it in her home and neighbours later came to worship it - after which some won money on the lottery.

Krod Yotchomrang, 52, told reporters that she bought some foot-long sausages from a local market in Satuk district of Buri Ram province, according to a report in Thai Rath.

She said her family really liked the sausages and they were all enjoying their meal.

"I was cutting the third sausage when I noticed what looked like a small cat," Mrs Krod said.

When she looked closer she saw its eyes and nose, and a chunk of cat hair.

"We almost threw up when we realised we were eating the body of a kitten for dinner," she told reporters.

After thinking it through, she set up a small altar in her home, placed the kitten's body on it, burned incense and prayed before it.

Her neighbours, and even people she did not know, began visiting her home to see the shrine, she said.

"Several of them won money on the lottery playing the number 52", her age, she said. The two-digit winning number for the March 16 lottery draw was 52.

Local police said Public Health officials had begun an investigation to find out if the local sausage maker was mixing cat meat with pork, or if it was an isolated incident and the kitten fell into the sausage making machine and contaminated the food.

Source and photo HERE

The Horror Of Zipper Related Penis Injuries

"A 6-year old boy presents to ED in agony after entrapping his penis in the zipper of his new jeans. He is very distressed, unable to lay still or co-operate, and every movement of his legs makes him scream in pain as the fabric tugs on his sequestered foreskin. At this stage, you cannot get close enough to see where exactly within the zipper mechanism he is entrapped."

 Penis and scrotum zipper entrapment is an under-reported epidemic that is causing pain and grief world wide to all age groups:

"Between 2002 and 2010, an estimated 17,616 patients presented to US EDs with trouser zip injuries to the genitals. The penis was almost always the only genital organ involved. Zip injuries represented nearly one-fifth of all penile injuries. Amongst adults, zips were the most frequent cause of penile injuries. Annual zip-related genital injury incidence remained stable over the study period."

Men,  always keep in mind the dangers of the toothy penis hungry zipper!   Woman,  warn your men about the horrors of penis zipper entrapment - after all,  you want it to keep working too don't you?

Learn a treatment method HERE!

Man Stages Fake Knife Attack To Impress Girlfriend

Hey you,  get your hands off of her!

"Jeffery Tyler Siegel and a woman claimed they had been attacked while walking back from the lookout pavilion.

 The couple told police a man wearing all black and wielding a large knife came out of the woods and told Siegel, "You can go; but, your girlfriend stays."

The woman reportedly ran away and called police.  But Siegel stayed and fought the attacker.  Or so he told police.

Siegel claimed the man "slashed" him twice on the chest and the wrist before he grabbed him and kneed him in the stomach."

After an investigation Siegel ended up confessing. "He "really liked" the woman and "felt that if he did something like this it would help him with his chances with her."
Siegel said he contacted a friend a couple days before Saturday and staged a fake attack, according to the report.

After the woman ran away, Siegel told Branscum he scraped himself to "make it look like he was cut by the attacker's knife."

The whole story is HERE

VW Bug Made Out Of Snow Gets Parking Ticket

Traffic wardens slipped up in Germany when they left a parking ticket - on a full-sized snow sculpture of a Volkswagen Beetle.

Pranksters had built the car overnight in a no-parking zone in Aachen, complete with outlines for its headlights, windscreens and even the distinctive VW badge on the bonnet.

"It was incredibly realistic looking. It looked like you could get into it and drive away once you'd swept the snow off," said one local.

"The wardens eventually realised they'd been had when they tried to scrape the snow off the number plate and found there was no plate, just snow," they added.

But the prank has received a frosty reception from local police.

A spokesman said: "We can take a joke as well as the next person and it was a very convincing prank.
"But whether it was made of metal or snow it was still obstructing a road that should have been clear."

SOURCE

Cockroaches Swarm Bus, Force Evacuation

A Greyhound bus bound for New York City had to pull over and evacuate Friday because it was infested with roaches that dropped from the ceiling and skittered across seats and the floor, terrorizing riders.

Mothers tried to shield their children and riders jumped into the aisle of the bus as roaches bolted out of cracks and crevices, seemingly all at once, about 15 minutes after the 10 a.m. bus left Atlantic City, passengers told NBC 4 New York.

"All of a sudden the roaches came out of nowhere, they were on the floor, they were falling form the ceiling," said Andy Rodriguez, a passenger.

Tracy Harmon told NBC 4 New York that "people were shrieking and shaking roaches off."

"It was terrible," she said.

The bus was carrying 48 people and an unknown number of roaches, according to Greyhound.

SOURCE AND MORE 

Giant Snails Are Invading The World

Snails the size of footballs are sludging their way across the world, killing crops and carrying meningitis along with them.
Known as giant east African snails, the invasive species has recently been discovered infiltrating Florida, nations in both Central and South America, and, most recently, Australia. The specimens are rather terrifying, seeing as how they can grow up to a foot long, weigh in at over two pounds, are capable of eating over 500 different species, can lay 1,200 eggs a year, and have few natural enemies in their new habitats. Oh, and they can also transmit life-threatening meningitis to humans.

Read more: http://motherboard.vice.com/blog/giant-footlong-snails-are-invading-everywhere#ixzz2NZuQcy76
Follow us: @motherboard on Twitter | motherboardtv on Facebook

Owner Hacked Off Dogs Back Legs Because It Climbed A Fence

A dog, Fabio, that had part of it's back legs removed is about to take a big step in recovery.

Swedish Church Gives Teens Sex Diplomas

"After attending a course entitled "Love and Sexuality", the teenagers in the southeastern town of Rödeby were given a certificate and badge stating they were "qualified for sex".

Vicar Mats-Ola Nylen said the course had been organized by a man purporting to come from the Swedish Association for Sexuality Education (RFSU), but the church later found out he hadn't worked for the organization in years.

Suspicions were raised after parents complained to Nylen about the certificates, referred to as "knullborgarmärke", saying their teenage children weren't ready for sex.

They were also upset over the use of colloquial phrases like "giving someone a blow job".

" Giving 14-year-olds a certificate saying they were ready to "shag" was sending a mixed message, Nylen said."

Read the whole story HERE

22 Month Old Smokes Bong Mother Offers

A young mom has been arrested after cell phone video surfaced of her letting her 22-month-old son  smoke a bong.

Poverty In America - A North Korean Perspective

For lunch today I shall have the sparrow giblets and the tree bark snow soup, then shall await my daily heroin ration.

Walmart Madness #78! Man Returns Printer With Counterfeit Money Still Inside

"A single sheet of two photocopied $100 bills was in a printer Jarad S. Carr unsuccessfully tried to return to Walmart in Lake Hallie on Thursday, village police said.

After Carr physically resisted being arrested, police say they found three more counterfeit $100 bills on the man, who was also wanted on burglary and armed robbery warrants from St. Croix County.

Police were called to Walmart at 3:05 p.m. Thursday because Carr, 37, of West Bend was trying to return a printer without receipts or proof he bought it from the Lake Hallie Walmart.

While inspecting the printer, a single sheet with two counterfeit $100 bills printed on it was found.

Carr insisted on returning the printer even after Walmart staffers refused to take it."

Maybe he should have forged a receipt first?

SOURCE 

Enraged Man Attacks Innocent Cows

"Two cows have been euthanized after authorities allege a Valdese man drove his SUV off Poteat Road Saturday and struck the farm animals with the vehicle and then attacked the creatures with a box cutter knife.

[The man] was discovered by officers with the Burke County Sheriff’s Office on Western Avenue just outside the grounds of the North Carolina Department of Correction, Western Youth Institute.

Burke County Sheriff Steve Whisenant responded to the call himself. 

“In my 35 years of law enforcement, I don’t think I’ve seen a similar incident,” the sheriff said Monday. “I was working any way Saturday and when I got into the car I saw where we had three officers up there and that caught my attention. We had no idea what had happened.

”

Approaching the suspect, officers reported Lail had wandered on foot to the driveway just outside the local prison, covered in blood and carrying a razor box cutter."


Read all about it HERE 

Kindergartner Teacher Lets Students Taste Her Blood

"Parents were appalled after a teacher in Norway brought a vial of her own blood to class and allowed her students to touch and taste it.

The teacher in Sola, off the western coast of Norway, brought a blood sample to class for her students to see. She was terminated last week after authorities learned that she poured the blood on to a plate and let as many as a dozen students taste the blood sample.

"The children asked if they could touch it and she allowed them," head teacher Inger Lise Soemme Andersen told Reuters. "Then they asked 'how do we get it off?' so she put her finger in her mouth and the children followed suit."

Walmart Madness #77! So You Won't Honor My Coupon Eh?

Angered that a Walmart employee refused to honor a “dollar-off” coupon, a Florida woman allegedly retrieved a handgun from her car and waved the weapon at several store employees, police allege.
The confrontation at the Crawfordville store began Friday afternoon when Mary Frances Alday, 61, sought to use an Internet coupon. Alday became “extremely upset” when a Walmart assistant manager, Tracy Stockslager, told her of the retailer’s policy not to accept such online coupons, according to a Wakulla County Sheriff’s Office report.
After having her coupon bid rejected, Alday allegedly called Stockslager “a bitch and other foul names” and intentionally struck the worker with a shopping cart. As Alday was escorted out of the store, she reportedly warned Stockslager, 48, not to follow her. The Walmart worker replied that “she was going to get her vehicle license plate number.”
“If you follow me, I have something in my car for you,” Alday warned.
As several Walmart employees watched from the store’s entrance, Alday appeared outside her car “waving the gun in the holster,” reported investigators. Alday then removed the weapon--a loaded Smith & Wesson .38 Special--from the holster and pointed it “at all the store employees and stated ‘I have something for Y’all.’” The Walmart workers “retreated back inside the building due to being in fear for their lives.”

Read the rest of the story,  including the police report at one of  the best websites in the world: THE SMOKING GUN 

Bouncing Baby Boy Saved By Mom And Grandma!

"A toddler who jumped on a bed and bounced out a second-story window was saved Friday by his mother, who leaped behind him, caught his foot and lowered him safely to his grandmother who was having a smoke on the porch below, police said.

The mother was just getting out of the shower when she saw the 14-month-old boy, who had been jumping on the bed, trip on a pillow and fly out the half-open window, Police Communications Director Monique Cotton said.
The mother smashed through the window and caught him by a foot as his head bounced on a small roof overhanging the front porch.

The momentum took them both out the window to the porch overhang. The mother was able to lower the baby to the grandmother just as his shoe came off in her hand, police said.
The grandmother heard the breaking glass and was in the right place at the right time to catch the baby before the mother fell into some bushes. She was taken to a hospital for treatment of cuts and a shoulder injury, Cotton said.

"The baby actually did fall," Cotton said. "Grandma caught him and mom fell in the bushes nearby. She's pretty scraped up."

The baby also was taken to the hospital with grandma to be checked out.
"The baby is going to be fine," Cotton said

SOURCE

The Caturday Report! Reporter Finds Fat Swimming Cat Hilarious

WDBJ anchor Susan Bahorich couldn't make it through a segment about an overweight cat swimming without busting out laughing, and we can't blame her.

Rape And Hit Her T-Shirts For Sale

"Amazon is continuing to offer T-shirts advocating domestic violence on its website - after withdrawing tops sloganed "Keep Calm And Rape".

The company withdrew the rape T-shirts - sold by the Solid Gold Bomb company - from its UK site and later pulled tops with the slogan "Keep Calm And Hit Her".
"Hit Her" tops that had remained for sale on some international Amazon sites, including the version in Germany, after the UK ones were pulled were also unavailable for purchase by early evening on Saturday.
The German site had offered the shirt for a price ranging between 16.90 euros and 18.90 euros and were also available to non-resident account holders.
A spokesman for Amazon UK told Sky News that all offensive garments had been pulled and said: "I can confirm that those items are not available for sale."
Other offensive slogans discovered on the UK website - but now withdrawn - included "Keep Calm And Grope On" and "Keep Calm And Grope A Lot".

Read the whole story HERE

Sinkhole Swallows Sleeping Man - And His Bedroom

Maybe he got sucked into a parallel universe?

"Florida rescue personnel on Saturday searched for a Florida man who disappeared into a sinkhole that swallowed his whole bedroom while he was asleep in his suburban Tampa home.

Jeff Bush, 36, who is presumed dead, was in bed when the other five members of the household who were getting ready for bed on Thursday night heard a loud crash and Jeff screaming.

Jeff's brother, 35-year-old Jeremy Bush, jumped into the hole and furiously kept digging to find his brother.

"I really don't think they are going to be able to find him," Jeremy said on Saturday. He "will be there forever."

Read much more about it HERE

Walmart Madness #76! Shopper Shoots Shoplifters Sedan

A Florida man trying to seek justice his own way is now in trouble for shooting at an alleged shoplifter’s car as the man fled a local Walmart.

Walmart shopper José Manuel Martinez, 35, was charged with aggravated assault and shooting into an occupied vehicle on Wednesday, the Daytona News-Journal reported.

Martinez said he just wanted to mark the car so police could trace it later, according to Orange City police.

The shoplifting suspect, Eddie Mckee, 42, allegedly stacked steaks and ribs worth of $200 into his cart and tried to leave the store without paying.

Martinez said he first ran after Mckee but the suspect entered his car to get away. He told police he then pulled out his 9 mm handgun and shot four times at the vehicle, according to News Talk Florida.

Martinez had a concealed weapons license. But police said he was not justified for shooting without his life being threatened.

SOURCE