Man Sent To Prison For Nine Months For Possesing Bart Simpson Porn

(Somebody ate his shorts)

Andrew Smith, 55, appeared at Carlisle Crown Court.

He was found guilty after a trial of nine charges alleging he was in possession of prohibited images of children.

All of the images were drawings. The court heard that Smith had downloaded these images and burned them to disc before it was made a crime to do this in 2010.

Police had found them after searching his home – in Killington Drive, Kendal – for evidence related to a separate matter.

At the trial, Smith had said he had a reason for having the files as he wished to campaign for sexual relations between pre-pubescent children and adults to be legalised.

However, a jury found him guilty on all counts.

Smith was sentenced to nine months imprisonment.

SOURCE 

Hannibal Lecter Cookbook To Be Released

(Still no mention of fava beans and a nice chianti in the series)

"Watching the TV series “Hannibal” is a mouth watering and stomach churning experience. Based on the Thomas Harris novels about Hannibal Lecter (previously turned into the Oscar-winning film The Silence of the Lambs), the show stars Mads Mikkelsen as the title character, a gourmet chef who cooks up delectable dishes in every single episode. Each one looks delicious and yet, since Hannibal Lecter is also a cannibal, we weren’t entirely sure we would want to eat them… until now.

CraveOnline has learned from “Hannibal” executive producer Bryan Fuller that plans are underway to release a cookbook based on Hannibal Lecter’s recipes from the TV series, so you too can whip up dishes like braised beef lungs, parmesan crumbled lamb’s brains and chicken liver paté.

“That is in development,” says Bryan Fuller in a recent CraveOnline interview about “Hannibal” Season 2 and 3 (coming to Blu-ray on September 16, 2014). “Yeah, there’s a cookbook in development and there’s also a fantastic ‘Art of Making of Hannibal.’ [...] I saw some pages from it. It’s a gorgeous book.”

When asked if the cookbook would feature all of the recipes from the TV series, or also include new recipes or recipes from the Thomas Harris novels, Fuller responded, “I think ‘yes’ is the answer to that question.” 

Fuller did not specify a release date for either of the upcoming tomes."

SOURCE

The Caturday Report! School Closes Due To Cat

(His favorite subject is HISStory)

"The Richard Henry Lee Elementary School was closed Friday due to a feral cat on the loose inside the building.

Students evacuated due to cat

"Animal Control officials have been unable to capture the feral cat inside the building at Richard Henry Lee Elementary School, and will be setting traps for it. As a result, Richard Henry Lee Elementary School will close at 9:45 a.m. today," AACPS said in a statement.

About ten hours after the school announced the early closure, the Anne Arundel County Schools reported the cat was still on the loose via twitter.

"Meow Mystery" the @AACountySchools tweet read: "Cowering cat still not captured at Richard Lee Henry Elementary. Updates as they occur. #catcaper"

Bus riders were transported home via the normal routes at the time, while walkers and car riders had to be picked up by a parent or guardian at the gate on Fourth Avenue, according to AACPS."

SOURCE

Death Valley's Rolling Stones Finally Caught On Tape "Rolling" Along

Scientists captured the movement of stones along the Racetrack Playa in Death Valley National Park. With this evidence, they can now explain the mechanism behind the rocks' mysterious motion.



"As it turns out, the movement requires the perfect concatenation of events. First, the playa has to fill with water, which must be deep enough to form floating ice during winter, but still shallow enough that the rocks are exposed.

When the temperature drops at night, this pond freezes into thin sheets of "windowpane" ice, which then must be thick enough to maintain strength, but thin enough to move freely.

Finally, when the sun comes out, the ice melts and cracks into floating panels; these are blown across the playa by light winds, propelling the rocks in front of them.

And it's surprisingly gentle: the sheets of ice are only 0.25in (3-5mm) thick, moving under winds of 10mph (3-5 metres per second), pushing the rocks along at a speed of only a few inches per second -- a speed which is almost imperceptible at a distance unless you know what to look for."

SOURCE AND MORE

Walmart Madness #150! Police Beat Up Man As Horrified Shoppers Beg Cops To Stop

Police authorities in Greenville, South Carolina are reviewing video of an arrest at a Walmart store Saturday afternoon where an officer can be seen repeatedly punching a suspect in the head as horrified shoppers begged him to stop. In cell phone footage provided to WSPA, police officers can be seen surrounding a man lying on the floor in a prone position. According to the police report, the man had been acting erratically in front of the store and appeared to be intoxicated or under the influence of drugs. The man told a responding deputy “I’m 911,” before entering the store at which time officers decided to take him into custody.

According to Greenville County Master Deputy Jonathan Smith, a second deputy tasered the man when he resisted arrest. In the video, officers can be seen wrestling with the man on the ground as one officer repeatedly punches the man in the head as one shopper can be heard saying, “Please don’t punch him like that. Please don’t. Don’t punch him no more.” According to one witness, he thought the police went too far.

“There were a lot of women in tears saying ‘hey, stop stop,”said David Chimera. “There was no call for that, I don’t know why they did it.”

According to authorities the man, whose identity was not released, was taken to a Greenville hospital for observation.

Smith said the investigators are reviewing the cell phone videos as well as security camera footage from Walmart and would have no comment until the review was complete.

Prisoner Dies After Eating Underwear

Michael B. Jones, 55, recently returned after a court ordered furlough, and is believed to have brought a pair of underwear back into prison soaked in methadone.

He allegedly shared pieces of the underwear with fellow inmates.

Inmate Corey D. McQueary, 33, was found unresponsive early Thursday morning and was later pronounced dead by the Jessamine County coroner.

McQueary’s autopsy results are not back yet, but police say they suspect a methadone overdose.

SOURCE

Dogs Feast On Ebola Victims, Furthering The Virus Spread

The Liberian Government, through the Ministry of Health and Social Welfare, buried some unaccounted-for corpses, suspected to have died from the Ebola Virus in that township few weeks ago.

The burial was done in a hurry at night following a standoff in the day between residence and the Ministry of Health burial team. The former had refused to grant the authority a piece of land to carry out the burial. The dogs, in their numbers, were seen pulling the bodies out of the shadowed grave and hastily eating them.

A resident, who spoke to the NewDawn, said that the action of the dogs has posed a serious health hazard to the entire Mount Barclay Community. Mr. Alfred Wiah noted that the dogs could easily spread the virus through further interactions with community dwellers.

Read more over at           http://www.thenewdawnliberia.com

Smelly French Guy Kicked Off Of Passenger Jet

(His Fellow Passengers Were About To Croak)

According to reports, the passenger tried to go to the toilet before take-off but was asked by an air steward to leave the plane, because of his odour.

The incident was reportedly captured on a video which was seen by AFP.

“The crew and the passengers have complained about your smell,” a member of staff says.

“You’re with an American company, this is American territory, the captain has the right to refuse you. You will not be flying today,” a member of the cabin crew tells the victim, adding that it was not the first time this kind of situation has arisen.

AFP reports that the man was then told to “take a shower”. 

Read more over at THE LOCAL, FRANCE

Man Was Bored So Ended Up Attacking His Neighbor With An Ice Pick

Police say Shepherd, 50, told them he was bored watching TV so he went out into the street and used a mirror to reflect sunlight into his neighbor's home in the 600 block of East Main Street. The neighbor came outside asking him to stop, and the two men started yelling at each other, the arrest report states.

"Shepherd stated that he then went back to his house, got a tool -- metal punch looking like an ice pick -- and ran after (the victim) stating he was going to stab him," the arresting officer said.

SOURCE

Cocaine Tainted Money Makes Banker's Fingers Go Numb

"A Monte Vista bank teller who reported tingly, numb fingers after accepting some wet dollar bills has prompted a federal investigation.

The (Alamosa) Valley Courier reports (http://bit.ly/1lsJExY ) that San Luis Valley Federal Bank reported a possible hazardous material on Friday. A bank teller reported tingly fingers after touching dollar bills that were being exchanged for larger notes by 24-year-old Michael Gutierrez of Del Norte. The bills reportedly had a strange odor and appeared to have been wet.

Monte Vista Police Chief Jim Grayson says field tests for hazardous materials were negative, but a sample of the bills tested positive for cocaine.

Gutierrez was booked into the Rio Grande County Jail on several outstanding misdemeanor failure-to-appear warrants."

SOURCE

Cannibal Restaurant Serving Baked Human Heads Shut Down By Police

(^Don't worry, that's just bread in the photo)

"Police arrested 11 people and closed a restaurant after two human heads wrapped in cellophane were discovered at a hotel restaurant that had been serving human flesh.

A tip-off led police to the macabre discovery in Anambra, Nigeria, with 11 people being arrested and AK-47 guns and other weapons being seized.

Human flesh was apparently being sold as an expensive treat at the restaurant, with authorities saying that roasted human head was even on the menu."

Read more at THE INDEPENDENT 

New Nail Polish Tests For Date Rape Drugs

"Considering how many of us often leave our drinks unattended at a bar, it's easy for a stranger or date to slip something into our drinks -- such as Rohypnol, which looks like aspirin and dissolves quickly in liquid, or GHB, which is a clear, odorless liquid. These date-rape drugs render the victim with diminished capacity, which in turn could facilitate a sexual assault.

A new nail polish line called Undercover Colors hopes to be the "first fashion company empowering women to prevent sexual assault."

From the companies Facebook page:

"In the U.S., 18% of women will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. That's almost one out of every five women in our country. We may not know who they are, but these women are not faceless. They are our daughters, they are our girlfriends, and they are our friends.

While date rape drugs are often used to facilitate sexual assault, very little science exists for their detection. Our goal is to invent technologies that empower women to protect themselves from this heinous and quietly pervasive crime.

For our first product, we are developing a nail polish that changes color when it comes in contact with date rape drugs such as Rohypnol, Xanax, and GHB. With our nail polish, any woman will be empowered to discreetly ensure her safety by simply stirring her drink with her finger. If her nail polish changes color, she'll know that something is wrong.

Through this nail polish and similar technologies, we hope to make potential perpetrators afraid to spike a woman’s drink because there’s now a risk that they can get caught. In effect, we want to shift the fear from the victims to the perpetrators. We are Undercover Colors and we are the first fashion company empowering women to prevent sexual assault."

Read More at CNET

Garden Gnome Red Alert Issued In Austria After 400 Gnomes Go Missing

http://www.howtosurviveagardengnomeattack.com/?p=186

"A leading Austrian political party has issued a garden gnome alert after 400 of its figurines disappeared from lamp posts used in campaigning.     
        
Placed by the Socialist Party ahead of elections in western Austria, the gnomes were hung three meters from the ground — presumably in part to prevent mass pilfering.

 But a party statement Monday said that 400 gnomes, valued at around $4,000, had gone missing over the weekend.

The party suspects the heists were less outright theft and more dirty electioneering, accusing the rival conservative People's Party of being behind the disappearances.

It notes that some of the gnomes have been replaced by People's Party posters.

The People's Party denies involvement in the gnome scandal."

SOURCE

Baby Skeleton Removed From Woman's Body After 36 Years

In 1978, a 24-year-old pregnant woman from the central Indian state of Madhya Pradesh reportedly received the terrible news that she was suffering an ectopic pregnancy, in which the fetus grows outside the womb. The pregnancy did not go to term, just as doctors predicted, and the woman was told to have surgery to remove the fetus.

Fearing the prospect of going under the knife, the woman, according to the Times of India, sought treatment at a health center in her village instead. After a few months, the pain faded.

Recently, the now 60-year-old woman reported suffering consistent pain in her abdomen. Doctors detected a lump and ran her through several tests, which ultimately revealed that the mass was a child's skeleton. A team of surgeons from a hospital in Nagpur performed the rare procedure of removing the skeleton that had lived in the woman's body for 36 years.

SOURCE

Obama Statue Found Smoking In A Park With A Six Pack

(Even statues got to chill)

"A stolen life-sized statue of United States President Barack Obama was has been returned to its Northern Pennsylvania owner after being discovered on a nearby picnic bench with an empty six-pack of Twisted Tea and a cigarette butt hanging from its mouth.

The statue was a staple of the Wilkes-Barre, Pa., neighborhood it was stolen from, where owner Tiffany Bruce prominently displayed it on her porch and decorated it for holidays."

Read more: http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2014/08/22/Stolen-Obama-statue-discovered-with-six-pack-of-Twisted-Tea-in-Pa-park/2701408741755/#ixzz3BLPEKzog

Oh Deer! Deer Take Over Streets In Nara, Japan

"Nara no longer represents the same lofty political authority it once did, but the city is still the site of several important temples, as well as the impressive Nara Daibutsu, a bronze Buddha statue nearly 15 meters tall.

And yet, the first thing most people think of when they hear Nara is deer, since over 1,000 of the animals live inside Nara Park. But even with roughly 500 hectares (1,235 acres) of space to run around in, sometimes the deer like to stray outside the park’s boundaries, such as they do each July when they occupy this sidewalk and stretch of road.
Although they’re technically wild animals, Nara’s deer
 are remarkably calm. Held to be messengers of the gods under Shinto belief, the animals are neither caged nor penned, but instead allowed to roam free around the sprawling expanses of Nara Park. As the park is one of the largest tourist attractions in the city, travelers often stop to pose for pictures with them, as well as feed them special deer treats sold by vendors inside the park."

JAPAN TODAY

The Caturday Report! Meet Some Cats That Served In World War I

(His name was Baron Von Stripe)

"Throughout the "war to end all wars," cats were a common sight in the trenches and aboard ships, where they hunted mice and rats. Beyond their "official" duties, they were also embraced as mascots and pets by the soldiers and sailors with whom they served.

An estimated 500,000 cats were dispatched to the trenches, where they killed rats and mice; some were also used as gas detectors. At sea, cats had the run of the ship — a tradition dating back thousands of years."

 See many more WWI cats over at:  io9

Human Cities Are Creating Giant Spiders

Researchers from the University of Sydney in Australia have found that some breeds of spiders actually grow larger and have more offspring when they live in an urban environment, compared to the wilderness.

They studied spiders around Sydney and found that in more densely populated areas, the spiders were larger.

Another result of the study found that in areas with lots of hard surfaces like concrete, the female spiders had larger ovaries.

Larger ovary weight was also found in areas where the residents were found to be wealthier.

The authors of the study wrote: “The increased expenditure and management of parks in wealthy suburbs could result in healthier vegetation patches, which would increase prey abundance and allow spiders to grow larger and build up fat reserves.”

One theory of why the spiders are bigger in the city is the urban heat island effect, which says that urban areas are warmer from heat absorbed by all the concrete surfaces.

The higher temperatures would then cause spiders and other insects to grow larger.

Another theory is that the streetlights in the city at night attract more insects for the spiders to eat.

Prowler Tries To Fight Fire Hydrant

(Put up yer dukes!)

St. Petersburg police recently arrested a prowler who they say tried to fight a fire hydrant before he was taken into custody.

Police said they arrested Jeffrey Paul McKenna, 34, after he was seen peeking into windows of homes in the 4800 block of Third Avenue N in St. Petersburg on Aug. 14.

Police were called and when officers arrived, McKenna told them he was looking for "Tony" and "wanted to go with the back up officer and smoke and be back in 20 minutes," an officer wrote in an arrest report.

"He was also acting like he was going to fight the fire hydrant in front of him prior to being taken into custody," the officer wrote.

SOURCE

Walmart Madness #149! Man Make an iShoe, Gets Busted Taking Upskirt Photos

"A Florida man cut a small hole in the front of his shoe, inserted an iPod, and then went to Walmart and recorded "upskirt" videos, according to police who arrested the pervy auteur.

According to an arrest report, cops were dispatched to a Walmart in Sanford Tuesday evening due to “a man with a camera on his shoe taking pictures of females.”

When officers arrived at the store, customer Lillie Kent told them that she was shopping in the toilet paper aisle when she noticed a man “standing relatively close behind her.” Kent added that the man “appeared to be attempting to sneak up behind her.”
After the man briefly walked away from Kent, he returned to following her and shadowed the woman all the way to the checkout line, cops reported. Kent told police that she had initially “observed a hole in the top of one of the man’s shoes but didn’t think anything of it at the time.”

However, at the checkout line, Kent confronted the man, who was carrying no merchandise to be purchased. She demanded to see his shoes. He refused and walked away. “Kent advised she began yelling,” police reported.

After being confronted by “an unknown man” who asked the male suspect for the camera, the alleged voyeur removed the iPod from his shoe.

The cameraman, Paul Senzee, was detained by Walmart security."

Find out more  over at THE SMOKING GUN

Priceless Meteorite From The Asteroid Vesta Got Stolen

One of the items taken is a meteorite believed to have come from the asteroid called ‘Vesta’. The specimen that is now gone was found back in 1925 in Zeeland.

It is one of only five meteorites that have ever been found in the Netherlands, making it priceless. The fact that it’s thought to be from ‘Vesta’, the second-biggest ‘world in the main asteroid belt’ greatly adds to the unique factor.

Approximately 5 percent of all meteorites discovered on planet Earth are suspected to have come from ‘Vesta’. Museum employees are hoping someone will come forward with information about the meteorite theft.

Man Stoned To Death With Oranges

Two men have been arrested after they allegedly assaulted a farmworker with oranges until he died on a farm outside Tzaneen, Limpopo police said on Wednesday.

The men, aged 27 and 30, were taken into custody on Tuesday, said Lt-Col Moatshe Ngoepe. 

"Babanto Chauke, 38, and two men had a quarrel, the two [allegedly] started throwing loose oranges at him until he died." 

The men were Chauke's colleagues at Lakota Farm. They would appear in the Tzaneen Magistrate's Court on Wednesday, Ngoepe said.

SOURCE

Man Tames Giant Killer Hornet, Puts It On A Leash

(He named it Fluffypoo)

A man in Japan claims he has made a pet of what is reputed to be the world's most aggressive insect, the lethal Japanese giant hornet.

The 2in-long insects - which can fly at up to 25 mph - are feared for their powerful, poisonous stings that claim about 40 lives in Japan every summer.

The high death rate makes them the second most lethal animal in Japan, after man.

But one social network user in Tokyo, the Japanese capital, claims to have tamed a hornet to the extent that he now even takes it on 'walkies' in its own string harness.

Large and very aggressive, Japanese giant hornets have quarter-inch-long stingers that inject a venom which attacks the nervous system and damages tissues of its victims.

The stings can trigger anaphylactic shock in victims who are allergic to the venom and, if the dose is sufficient, can cause lethal renal failure even to those who are not allergic.

Robot Hitchhikes 6,000 Kilometers, All The Way Across Canada!

"Moreover, the very fact that hitchBOT survived the trip at all is a success, and is definitely a relief for the little trooper’s human family. Replacement hitchBOTs had been prepared in case the original was unlucky enough to be stolen, wrecked, or harvested for parts.

Yet the robot never came across trouble, which is extra satisfying considering that hitchBOT was supposed to prove that robots can trust humans. The fact that the robot’s trusting nature was so consistently rewarded is about as uplifting as autonomous robot news can get.

But while hitchBOT has safely traversed the great Canadian expanse, its traveling days are not over. According to the robot’s Facebook page, it will be "taking a quick jaunt to Seattle" this week, before mingling with its fans at the Open Space artist centre in Victoria this Thursday, August 21."

Read more at VICE

Watch a Video about HitchBOT:

Walmart Madness #148! Man Steals Electric Shopping Cart To Go See Probation Officer

(^What they are normally used for)

"An 18-year-old Albuquerque man is facing theft charges after he showed up to his probation appointment on a stolen electric shopping cart from Wal-Mart, according to Albuquerque police.

According to a criminal complaint filed Tuesday, Michael Rene Johnson rolled over to his appointment with his probation officer on the shopping cart Monday at Metropolitan Court. Johnson’s probation officer asked him where he got the cart, and he said he took it from the Wal-Mart at San Mateo and Zuni, according to the complaint.

Officers called Wal-Mart staff, and they said the cart is worth more than $1,800 and that they would like to file charges against Johnson."

SOURCE

Woman Sings Opera To Sooth The Savage Mountain Lion

"The lion stalked the hiker for about 20 minutes, during which it would often jump forward and crouch whenever Kopenstonsky attempted to move backwards. She told deputies that when she first saw the animal, she picked up a large branch and attempted to look big. That did not seem to faze the cat, so Kopenstonsky said she did the next thing that came to her mind.

“I don’t know why, I just started singing opera really loud,” Koestonsky later told KUSA. “It kind of put its ears down and just kept looking at me, and it sort of backed away. Then, it came around the bushes an came towards me again and crouched about 10 feet away.”

Although the singing did not repel the animal, it may have deterred the mountain lion from directly attacking the hiker."

Read the police report HERE

For the rest of the story go HERE

A Mugshot Within A Mugshot

"As seen in the above mug shot (click to enlarge), a coworker of Burt’s at a Pittsfield restaurant created a shirt with a reproduction of the booking photo taken following his mid-June arrest. The t-shirt photo was captioned “Burt Family Reunion 8/8-8/10/2014” and “sponsored by Bud Light and Somerset County Sheriff.”

Beneath Burt’s mug shot was a second image showing a cat sitting on a couch flanked by a TV remote and a bottle of Bud Light. The cat photo, sadly, was too far down the shirt to be captured by the jail’s mug shot camera.

Burt, who happily wore the orange shirt for his jail photo, subsequently wrote on Facebook that corrections officers made him hold the slate in a way “so you could see the shirt.” He added, “They laughed there asses off haha.” The shirt’s mention of a family reunion is an apparent reference to an incarcerated Burt relative."

Read it all at  THE SMOKING GUN

"The Penis Collector" Arrested For Having Jars Full Of Pickled Human Penises

"A 52-year-old man nicknamed the “Penis Collector” has been arrested by police in Slavonski Brod, a small city in eastern Croatia, on suspicion of possessing a collection of human body organs.

The man was apprehended earlier this week. When authorities entered his apartment they found jars and jars of human penises soaking in formaldehyde.

According to sources, the man, whose name has not been released, works as a registered nurse at a city hospital. He has no criminal record and has been described by some as “a family man,” though others say he is an alcoholic who often showed up to work drunk.

“On behalf of all employees of the hospital, I have to say that we are very unpleasantly surprised by an event that threw a shadow over this hospital,” a hospital spokesperson said. “Our apologies to families of the deceased.”

It is unclear how exactly police learned about the “collection.” Also unclear is how the man got his hands on so many human penises, though it is believed they were cut off from the dead bodies of hospital patients."

SOURCE  and SOURCE

Facebook Deploys "Satire" Tag To Protect People From The Onion

"Perhaps there's something endearing about the misplaced emotions of people who take The Onion all too seriously, because a lot of the coverage about this change has a slightly downcast feel.

​Techradar claims "Facebook is dealing a crippling blow to the art [of satire]" with this change, while Engadget writes, "maybe you should be made fun of if you actually think stories like these are true." VentureBeat simply labels the social media giant, "Dr. Buzzkillington."

But parody is more insidious in the social media age — as evidenced by Gawker blog Antiviral. Some recent examples of parody victims: a prominent science magazine citing research from The Onion, anAP story based off of a joke tweet, and a former White House official duped by a military parody blog.

And thern there's the timeless gaffe made by China's People's Daily, which congratulated North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un in 2012 for being named The Onion's Sexiest Man Alive. Maybe we do need some clearer lines.

The idea of flagging parody sites has been put into practice by at least one other news aggregator —Google News already marks all Onion articles as parodies in its feeds."

Read it all here: http://www.ajc.com/news/business/facebook-tests-satire-tag-protect-users-onion/ng4NY/

And see lots of funny examples of people on Facebook taking Onion articles seriously over at the blog http://literallyunbelievable.org/

Sharks Are Attacking The Internet

"Reports of sharks biting the undersea cables that zip our data around the world date to at least 1987. That’s when the New York Times reported that “sharks have shown an inexplicable taste for the new fiber-optic cables that are being strung along the ocean floor linking the United States, Europe, and Japan.”

Now it seems Google is biting back. According to Network World’s Brandon Butler, a Google product manager explained at a recent event that the company has taken to wrapping its trans-Pacific underwater cables in Kevlar to guard against shark bites."

 Read more over at SLATE

Man Drags Stolen Safe Behind Car, Gets Arrested After Passing A Police Car

Derrrrrrp

"Ryan Mullins, may have gotten away with it too, except he passed an officer while he was driving.

The 22-year-old allegedly swiped the safe from Family Care Pharmacy and dragged it for more than two miles before the officer saw him.

Individuals near the pharmacy reportedly saw Mullins' vehicle parked outside with the safe nearby.

"You could just tell he was messing with something and having a struggle," witness Carmen Fickling told WCTI12. "A lot of things crossed through my mind as to what could possibly be going on and none of them were good. But I never expected to see him pull a safe with the rope. It was strange."


Video and more: http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2014/08/14/Man-dragging-stolen-safe-behind-his-car-arrested-after-passing-officer-on-road/1771408028289/#ixzz3AaQkhoYG

The Caturday Report! Gizmo The Cat Falls 9 Floors, Only Breaks Tooth And Window

"A 4 1/2-year-old kitty named Gizmo fell nine-story from a Manhattan penthouse and survived — with only broken tooth and scratches.

“I can’t believe he’s alive!” Gizmo’s owner, Samuel Jacobs, told the Daily News Thursday.
Jacobs — a deejay who goes by the stage name Sam Kosnani — said Gizmo’s miraculous plunged occurred sometime Tuesday when the Egyptian Mau got out of his 12th-floor penthouse on E. 32nd St. near Lexington Ave.

 (He bounced onto this window)

The cat, whose silver fur is dotted with black leopard spots, apparently scaled the 4 1/2-foot railing on Jacob’s terrace and slipped. The 11-pound Gizmo landed on the roof of the third floor, just missing a skylight."

Read it all over at the NYDAILYNEWS

Hospital Mistakenly Sends Out 200 Death Notices For Alive Patients

"Austin Hospital, in Australia's second most populous city of Melbourne, erroneously killed off the patients when it faxed death notices to their family doctors.

The notices were the result of an inadvertent change to the templates the hospital sends to doctors once a patient has been discharged, operator Austin Health said in a statement.

"We apologized unreservedly to affected clinics who, for the most part, were very understanding about the error," it said. 

Patient care had not been affected, the company stressed. 

The Australian Medical Association said the error was unacceptable and potentially distressing to family doctors, while an opposition lawmaker said it was symptomatic of an overworked health system."

YAHOO 

Mermaid Attacked! Police Seek Bearded Lady For A Witness Statement

(What a bearded lady may look like)

"Sussex Police have appealed for information after a woman dressed as a mermaid was attacked in Hastings.

The woman, 22, was in costume for the town's annual Old Town pram race. She was hit on the head and had to be treated for concussion.

Sergeant Che Donald, of Sussex Police said: "It is thought that perhaps the group dressed as dalmatians, crayons and a bearded lady may have witnessed this incident."

SOURCE 

Woman Throws Bricks Through In-Laws Windows "Because it was fun!"

(She may have been hit by a bouncing brick,  I dunno)

"The residents of the home called police after someone, later identified as Michelle Waro, had started tossing bricks through windows at the home. According to the homeowner, Waro is his daughter-in-law.

When he arrived on the scene, Cpl. Connelly saw the 43-year-old suspect behind the home. With a laugh, she asked Connelly to "take me away because of this," Southern Maryland News Net reported.

Waro allegedly broke nine windows at the home with landscaping bricks and caused an estimated $8,000 worth of damage before being taken into custody.

After Connelly arrested her, Waco allegedly said, "This was fun and they are a bunch of bitches."


Read more: http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2014/08/12/Maryland-woman-arrested-for-breaking-father-in-laws-windows-because-it-was-fun/7121407853942/#ixzz3AOcVNnm0

Walmart Madness #147! Teen Lives In Walmart For Four Days In Secret Compartments

(His trail of trash gave him away)

"CBS 11 News obtained exclusive photos of two campsites at the Walmart in Corsicana. One of them was on the aisle carrying baby products behind boxes of strollers. The other was behind stacks of paper towels and toilet paper.

“You never expect that you’re at Walmart and someone has been living there for four days. That’s crazy,” said Myrna Aguilar, a Walmart customer.

Customers who walked down the aisles where the teen was living never noticed two hidden compounds where the boy was able to store necessities, sleep in a makeshift bed and and eat items taken from inside the store."

See more over at CBS

Murder Suspect Asks Siri App. Where To Hide Dead Body, Siri Gives Suggestions

"Siri’s joking reply has now taken on a sinister twist. “What kind of place are you looking for?” the app asked back. “Swamps? Reservoirs? Metal foundries? Dumps?”

This evidence was presented Tuesday in the trial of Pedro Bravo, who is charged with drugging and strangling Christian Aguilar after an argument over Bravo’s ex-girlfriend, whom Aguilar had been dating.

Detectives have been reviewing Bravo’s phone for clues, and found his request to Siri, made on Sept. 20, 2012, when the two men were captured by a surveillance camera outside a Gainesville Best Buy store.

Gainesville Police Department detective Matt Goeckel said the flashlight on Bravo’s phone had also been used on nine occasions that night, for a total of 48 minutes, and its location points don’t match where Bravo said he was.

Aguilar’s remains were found three weeks later, about 60 miles away."

TIME

Knife Slips Off Balcony Into Mans Head Walking Below

Yeowch!

"Last Thursday morning, 57-year-old Xiao Yunzhi was taking a stroll in his home town of Guangyuan, Sichuan province, when his head started feeling strangely heavy.

But it was only when the local tobacconist stared at him, slack-jawed, and pointed to the top of his skull that he realised that something was amiss.

As Mr Xiao was passing underneath a high-rise apartment block, a five-inch kitchen knife had fallen from an eighth-floor balcony, embedding itself up its hilt in the left side of his head, but without piercing his skull.

As soon as the problem had been pointed out, pain washed over Mr Xiao and he sat down in the street, while someone called an ambulance."

SOURCE AND MORE 

Mexican Drug Cartels Are Selling Black Market Fish Bladders

Instead of drugs, Mexican cartels have turned to poaching the endangered totoaba for its prized bladder and selling them to Asia.

Mexican drug cartels are usually associated with selling marijuana and cocaine. Now, they're getting their hands on another lucrative business: selling prized fish bladders to Asia.

These bladders belong to the totoaba, and can sell from $7,000 to $14,000 on the black market.

The totoaba's bladder controls its buoyancy. It's considered a delicacy in China, where one bowl of soup made with it can go for $25, 000.

The fish can grow to be up to seven feet long and weigh over 200 pounds.

It's classified as an endangered species in the United States, due to poaching and the diversion of water in the Colorado River, affecting its natural spawning environment.

The fish bladders are dried and generally smuggled from Mexico through the United States before being sent to Asia.

And it's not just the cartels, American smugglers are known to transport the fish as well.

While arrests have been made in both the U.S. and Mexico for those caught harvesting or trafficking the fish organs, the business continues.

The totoaba isn't the only aquatic wildlife being poached in Mexico, sea horses and sea cucumbers are both also harvested and sold.


Thank you GeoBeats!

Girl Swept Away By Mega-Tsunami Finally Returns Home 10 Years Later

On December 26, 2004, a massive earthquake off the coast of Sumatra, Indonesia triggered one of the deadliest tsunamis to date. In the town of Aceh, 4 year old Jannah and 7 year old Arif tried to ride out the giant wave with their parents in their home, however the flood proved too powerful and the siblings are washed out to sea instead.

Their parents presumed them dead, like so many other victims of the tragedy, but it turns out the pair were found the next day by a crew of fishermen who took them to their island.

Jannah and her brother were split and went to live with different residents of the fishing village, and for the next 10 years of her life, Jannah was raised by the mother of the man who rescued her.

Until last week that is. Earlier in June of this year, Jannah’s uncle happened to be in the village and noticed a teen girl who looked like his lost niece. After a talk with local authorities, it was confirmed that she indeed was Raudhatul Jannah who was swept away.

Jannah is now living with her parents and a little brother she has never known. Her parents hold out hope that Arif can now be found as well.

Thanks TOMO NEWS! <3

Woman Scales Barbed Wire Fence At Airport, Tries To Stop Airplane And Catch Fleeing Husband

"RCMP arrested a woman Sunday at Halifax Stanfield International Airport after she scaled a barbed-wire fence and ran across the tarmac to stop a plane she believed was carrying her husband from taking off.

The airport rerouted a small plane that had just landed and moved onto the taxiway, airport authority spokesman Peter Spurway said Sunday.

The woman, who sustained several minor cuts, was taken to hospital for an assessment, said RCMP spokesman Sgt. Alain LeBlanc."

No charges will be filed against her.

Read it all HERE

Beware The Chicken Skin Suit Guy!

Blargh!

"FLESH is a multi-dimensional art project by artists Victor Ivanov and Lewis G Burton.

FLESH is focused on a chicken skin body suit that Ivanov has sewn around Burton’s body from head to toe. FLESH is an experiment that examines the relationship between identity and its commodification through social medias; by creating an entity from chicken skin, a commodified object in itself, the artists are then introducing it into the social sphere, both online and offline.

This abnormality creates a stimulus for the general public to interact with, by allowing them to adopt FLESH as part of their cyber identity. To cement the relationship between the identity that is FLESH and the way it is mediated by cyber culture, the artists are creating a catalogue of FLESH products available to the public. The documented results are then used to create viral material, stimulating the social sphere and allowing it to redefine itself by acting as a platform for dialogue as well as a source of contemporary consumer culture."

 

SOURCE 

Walmart Madness #146! Another Walmart Meth Lab

"Police Sgt. Joe Nokes responded to a shoplifting call at the Walmart Supercenter at around 2:30 p.m. According to Nokes, the stores loss prevention team saw a man and woman take cold compresses and batteries out of the store without paying for them.

Nokes said lithium in batteries and ingredients in cold compresses are commonly used to make meth.

He said the couple tried to get into a red Saturn car, but the loss prevention members stopped them. The woman got into another waiting vehicle and left, but Nokes cited the man for misdemeanor shoplifting before he left on foot.

Nokes said he called in a K9 unit, and the dog alerted officers to the presence of drugs.

An active “shake-and-bake” meth lab was found in the trunk of the car. Police meth technician Chris Luna was then called to the scene, along with firefighters and public safety officials to secure the area surrounding the car."

Read more HERE

The Caturday Report! Kanga The Bent Legged Kitty Is Doing Well

Kanga is a sweet kitten that was born with radial agenesis. She gets around great and is a happy girl:



"This condition is genetic and shortens a cats radius–the long bone between a cat’s elbow and wrist.

Cats with this condition tend to support themselves on their back legs so that harmful stress is not placed on their spine. This posture is what led RA felines to be referred to as “kangaroo cats,” and it also inspired the naming of Kanga!

According to Holly, Kanga “gets around great and is a happy girl,” despite her leg condition."

See more about Kanga HERE

Man Buys All BK Pies So Spoiled Brat Can't Get One

At Burger King “When behind me comes this woman yapping on her cellphone with a little monster of a child,” he writes. “This kid was out of control, screaming, punching his mother throwing around a gameboy whenever something didn’t go right in the game.”

He says the mom paid more attention to her phone than to her kid, who was screaming about how much he wanted an apple pie.

The customer says his already bad headache got worse and so he asked the mother nicely to quiet her kid down.

“Immediately she gets up in my face telling me I can’t tell her nothing about raising her child and to mind my own business,” recalls the customer, who says the mom rubbed it in by calling her kid “sweety” and assuring him that he’d get his pie.

By the time the customer got to the front of the line, he says he could only think about how the loudmouthed brat and his mom had spoiled this little trip to BK.

“I then decide to ruin their day,” explains the customer who ordered all 23 pies the store had in stock.

“I take my order and walk towards the exit,” he recounts. “Moments later I hear the woman yelling, ‘What do you mean you don’t have any pies left, who bought them all?’ I turn around and see the cashier pointing me out with the woman shooting me a death glare.”

Would you do it?  Take the poll HERE

Stolen Python Wraps Itself Around Woman's Neck Causing Her To Crash Into A Fire Station

(Don't Drink And Snake)

"The driver, identified as 22-year-old Sarah Espinosa, of Albany, apparently lost control of her Toyota Prius, crossed the median, struck a Nissan Maxima and careened into the fire station.

And the reason, according to police, was that a stolen snake in her car had wrapped itself around her neck.

The vehicle plowed through the main door, striking two fire trucks inside.

Fire personnel who were present at the time of the accident rendered aid to the victim, at which time they discovered a small ball python snake wrapped around her neck.

They removed the snake and secured it at the scene.

Officers responded and determined Espinosa had stolen the snake from a nearby PETCO just prior to the accident. "

SOURCE AND MORE

Illegal Choco Pies Being Floated To North Korea By Balloons

(The forbidden yummies)

"South Korean activists and North Korean defectors launched balloons laden with Choco Pies at North Korea this week after the popular chocolate treat reportedly became the target of a government crackdown.

Nearly 200 activists released the 50 large helium balloons carrying 10,000 Choco Pies — a combination of a chocolate-coated cake and marshmallow — across the North Korea border from the border city of Paju, South Korea, on Wednesday, AFP reported."

SOURCE AND MORE

Pregnant Squirrel Trashes House, Eats All The Chocolate

"Now I need pickles!"

"The living room was overturned — lamps knocked over, sofa cushions on the floor, window blinds shredded and chocolate wrappers all over the floor.

“I thought, ‘Oh my God, someone’s broken in,’" she told CBC Radio’s Daybreak.

She ran upstairs to check on her computer and in her study, she found the culprit — a grey squirrel.
She called the Montreal SPCA, which advised her to try to catch the squirrel in a box or cage, and take it outside."

 Read it all HERE

Billionaire Killed By Flying Champagne Bottle Cork

(I guess you can do more than put your eye out)

"The accident took place during a sumptuous party that was being held to celebrate Mr. Loeng’s 50th birthday, that would have taken place on August 2nd. Nearly 200 guests were present, including most of Hong Kong’s political and economic elite, when the celebrated, after a brief speech, opened a bottle of champagne and was hit violently in the head by the cork. Many witnesses actually laughed at first, greatly underestimating the severity of the injury,  but an eerie silence rapidly overcame the crowd as Mr. Loeng remained unconscious and the medical staff was urged on the site. Despite all the efforts of the paramedics, his death was confirmed less than twenty minutes later while he was being carried to the hospital."

No credit due to them fucking with my HTML.