Friday, January 31, 2014

Man Tries To Rob A Hallmark Store Using A Frightful Greeting Card

"Here's a cheerful greeting card idea: "Give me all the money or I will kill you."

On January 27, 2014, at 3:58 pm, an employee of Hallmark Card Store located at 1617 JFK Boulevard was working at the cash register when a unknown male entered the store and handed a card to the cashier with a threatening demand note demanding money. The employee then called another employee and informed him what had just happened when the suspect grabbed the demand note and fled the store without obtaining any money."

Walmart Madness #120! Security Cameras Catch Man Stealing Security Cameras

Watchers watching watchers watching...

"Police say security cameras showed a man trying to steal security cameras Sunday.
Surveillance footage also shows Joshua M. Pemble, 23, parked in a handicapped parking space while he was committing the theft, Joliet Police Capt. Tab Jensen said.

At 3:56 p.m. security employees called police to Walmart, 1401 Route 59, after watching Pemble put a security camera system into his cart, walk to another department and remove the electronic sensor tags, Jensen said.

“Pemble walked past the last point of purchase and exited the store. When security attempted to stop him, he left the cart and took off running,” Jensen said."

Wasted, Broke, And Hungry? There's A Soup For That

And There's more good news everyone,  it can also be used as a dessert topping!

From the product's sale site:

"Who says that bachelorhood and poverty have to taste bad? Behold the haute cuisine of today's harried consumers, monosodium glutamate enthusiasts and merry pranksters alike: "Wasted and Broke," a spicy beef ramen (yes, a package of actual honest-to-goodness ramen noodles you can cook and eat).

Perfect for housewarming gifts and back to school necessities."

Buy it HERE

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Prosecuters Drop Theft Case Against Trash Dumpster Divers

"Paul May, 35, Jason Chan, 31, and William James, 23, were alleged to have taken cast-off tomatoes, mushrooms, cheese and Mr Kipling cakes from dustbins at the frozen food firm and were due to stand trial at Highbury Corner Magistrates’ Court on Monday.

But after facing scrutiny over whether the prosecution was in the public interest – including from Iceland which only found out about the case through the media – the CPS decided not to pursue the matter.

Baljit Ubhey, chief crown prosecutor for CPS London, said: “This case has been reviewed by a senior lawyer and it has been decided that a prosecution is not required in the public interest.

“While the decision to charge was taken by the Metropolitan Police Service, a subsequent review of the case by the CPS did not give due weight to the public interest factors tending against prosecution.

“In reconsidering this case, we have had particular regard to the seriousness of the alleged offence and the level of harm done. Both of these factors weigh against a prosecution. Additionally, further representations received today from Iceland Foods have affected our assessment of the public interest in prosecuting."


Man Survives Going Through Wood Chipper!

(Photo from my lovely town's visitor center)

"It was 10 seconds of hell for Frank Arce, who should've died after he went through a wood chipper.

"Actually going through the machine itself wasn't the worst part about it," he said Wednesday from his hospital bed at PeaceHealth SW Washington Medical Center. "What was the worst part (was) the not knowing what was going to happen."

Arce was conscious the entire time.

Arce works at a company that shreds up bark into wood chips.

When something got stuck inside the machine, he went in thinking everything was turned off – just like they practice – to get the object. But somebody didn't get the message, and Arce was inside the barrel – about the diameter of a basketball – that has spikes and claws when he heard the engine start up.

He was smiling and cracking jokes Wednesday, but Arce has a broken pelvis, shattered ankle, bruised liver, broken leg and a cut that runs the length of his body on the back side that's so deep it crushed his knee.

He's on a lot of pain medication right now."

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Men Charged With Stealing Food From A Trash Dumpster

"Three men are due to stand trial next month after they were allegedly caught stealing food from dustbins behind an Iceland store.

The Crown Prosecution Service claimed there was a “significant public interest” in prosecuting Paul May, Jason Chan and William James for taking the discarded food, The Guardian reported.
Mr May, 35, a freelance web designer, is expected to argue that he has not done anything illegal by claiming mushrooms, tomatoes, cheese and Mr Kipling cakes which had been thrown away and would have ended up as landfill.
He will tell the hearing on February 3 the food had been disposed of and he needed it to feed himself.
The trio were arrested in October when a passer-by alerted police after seeing the men scaling a wall at the back of the supermarket in Kentish Town, north London."

Read much more HERE

Mad Scientists Create Peanut Butter Jellyfish

"According to a study published in aquarist journal Drum and Croaker, scientists at the Dallas Zoo and Children’s Aquarium have created the world’s first peanut butter jellyfish.

P. Zelda Montoya and Barrett L. Christie claim to have created “the first known unholy amalgamation of America’s favorite lunchtime treat and live cnidarians.”

Although Montoya and Christie’s creation may end up serving a purpose, they admit that they made the peanut butter jellyfish “simply to see if it could be done.”

 "They’ve kept the original group of jellies on their experimental peanut butter feed, and although their growth rates have tapered off a bit—and the normally opaque invertebrates have taken on a brownish tinge—the animals are still growing.

“We’re going to see if we can continue to raise them to complete their lifecycle and put down polyps,” Christie said. If they can get their peanut buttered jellyfish to produce the next generation, that would be a good indication that the animals are healthy, he explained."

Read more HERE and HERE

Woman Suffers From Terrifying Fear Of Newspapers

Diane Freelove, 49, of Rochester, England, said she has suffered from chloephobia, the fear of newspapers, for about 25 years and she can't stand the look, smell or touch of a newspaper, the Mirror reported Tuesday
"When I visit a shop I walk as far away as I can from the newsstand," Freelove said. "I can't go anywhere near someone who has got one, and if they approach me, I freak out. At one time I could touch a newspaper as long as I knew I could wash my hands thoroughly afterwards. But now I can't even look at them.

"I don't like the feel of them -- if I touch a newspaper it feels like my skin is crawling. And I can't stand the smell, which I think is quite strong and distinctive," she said.

Freelove said the fear probably started in her childhood.

"When I was a child, my mother hit my father over the head with a newspaper. She did it in a playful, friendly way, but it worried me," she said. "I became afraid of newspapers over the past 25 years."

Taylor Swift Brutally Attacked During Grammy Performance

She took it like a pro though;  the show must go on!

Farting Cows Cause Barn Explosion

Methane gas from 90 flatulent cows exploded in a German farm shed on Monday, damaging the roof and injuring one of the animals, police said.

High levels of the gas had built up in the structure in the central German town of Rasdorf, then "a static electric charge caused the gas to explode with flashes of flames," the force said in a statement.

One cow was treated for burns, a police spokesman added.

Walmart Madness #119! Pregnant Shoplifter Asks Cops If She Could Do Heroin

"Hancock, who told police she was three months pregnant, was seen going into a changing room at the Walmart at 4650 W. North Ave. with a pair of jeans, leggings, and a black shirt and then leave the changing area wearing those items, according to police.

After taking some cosmetics and placing them in her purse, she tried to leave the store without paying and was stopped by security, according to police. Chicago police were called and she was taken to the Grand Central District station where she was arrested at 7 p.m., according to police.

While she was being processed, she "continually asked" officers for "just one blow," a street name for heroin, from her purse because she was "getting dopesick," according to a police report.

Officers found multiple bags of heroin in her purse, and she continued saying that she "only wanted one" of the bags"


Saturday, January 25, 2014

The Caturday Report! Bull The Gay Cat Gets Disowned

"As the Nigerian newspaper Leadership notes, the woman (identified simply as being middle-aged) rid herself of Bull, whom she owned for seven years, after the cat was deemed to "be in the habit of making sexual advances" only to other male cats in the household.

"By this, the cat has made a record as the first cat to be so publicly declared gay and disowned by its owner," writer Donatus Nadi notes in the article. As for the cat's disgruntled owner, she would only add, "Anybody interested in this gay cat can have it because I have no further use of it.”

Read more HERE

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Man Awarded $4 Million For Degloved Penis

Still less painful than the Beiber concert

"A south Alabama jury has decided a farm owner should pay a former worker $4 million in damages for an on-the-job accident that left the man with skinned genitals. reports that Gerald Lymon was holding onto the boom of a hole digger that was being driven by another man during a project in August 2010.

When the drill bit hit a hard piece of ground, Lymon lost his footing and his pants got tangled in the rotating drill. The machine’s force pulled at his clothes until his genitals became entangled and his skin was ripped off.
Lymon’s attorney said the men were not operating the machinery properly and Lymon should not have had to hold it steady."


Beer Flavored Jelly Beans!

"Add another one to the weird Jelly Belly flavors. The company now has a draft beer-flavored jelly bean.
The jelly bean tastes like a Hefeweizen-inspired ale, according to Jelly Belly's website.

Development of the draft beer flavor took years, according to the company.

"First, we tried to work on matching the hops. Then we worked on the yeast flavor," said Ambrose Lee, Jelly Belly's research and development manager, in a video on the company's website.

Note: There is no alcohol in the jelly bean.

Jelly Belly also offers jelly bean recipes for a candy cocktail in your mouth. For example, to make a Michelada, eat two draft beer jelly beans, a lemon lime jelly bean and a Tabasco jelly bean."


Monday, January 20, 2014

"Vomit Fee" Proposed For Toronto Cabs - Mayor Rob Ford Inconsolable

"I puke where I want!"

"The recommended $25 fee on top of the metered fare is based on the average taxicab fare, seeking to ensure "all passengers are treated equally," the report said.

"A regulated cleaning fee will help offset time lost and cost to clean the taxicab, and ensure consumer protection against unregulated and exorbitant fees," it said.

This cleaning fee must be listed on the tariff card displayed in all taxicabs "and must be appropriately reflected on the receipt in the 'total fare charged,'" the report said.

The proposed fee brought a swift response on Twitter.

"Following #RobFord controversy Toronto tries to improve image with proposed vomit fee for taxis," Mark O'Henly of Fort McMurray, Alberta, wrote, referring to the Toronto mayor who became embroiled in a substance-abuse scandal."

The Swiss Cheese Pervert Has Been Arrested

Oooh Baby!

"Police said Chris Pagano, 41, of Norristown, allegedly approached women on at least three occasions in Philadelphia's Mayfair neighborhood and exposed his genitals, the Philadelphia Daily News reported Friday.

Pagano, who was arrested at his Norristown home Thursday by Norristown police and members of the Philadelphia police's Special Victims Unit, allegedly asked the women to perform sex acts on him involving a piece of Swiss cheese, police said.

Pagano was previously arrested in 2006 during a prostitution sting in Norristown when he offered two undercover officers "$20 to wrap Swiss cheese around [his] penis and masturbate him," the arrest report said."

That's enough of this cheesy story,  read the rest here:

Friday, January 17, 2014

Arsonist Fails Multiple Times With Molotov Cocktail - All Caught On Tape

Maybe he was using a plastic bottle?  I dunno...

"The CCTV camera footage dated January 9 shows the hooded man, who looks to be in his 20s, approaching the front of the building located on the 2600 block on North Frankford Avenue. He gets out a molotov cocktail, lights the wick, chucks it in the direction of the second floor of the three-story building, then runs off. The bottle bounces off the building, putting out the light.

The incompetent arsonist tries again and again and again, failing on every attempt.

There are at least two versions of the video circulating: one which seems to show the incident from the very beginning before cutting out, and the other starting mid-way and ending with the man walking away after what appears to be a final attempt. Between the two of them, a car can clearly be seen passing the man. He walks along discreetly to avoid suspicion, only to return to the site moments later for another fling:"

Meet The Amazing Sheep-Pig - It Has The Best Tasting Bacon They Say!

No relation to the Man-Bear-Pig

"There is one particular type of pig out there that reportedly has the best pork, with unmistakable flavor and texture.

Pigs are remarkable creatures.

However, there is one particular pig out there that reportedly has the best pork, with unmistakable flavor and texture. We are talking about the Mangalitsa.

While they are rare, with only 60,000 living across the entire world, the meat from the Mangalitsa has a buttery, melt-in-your-mouth flavor. It also melts right in your mouth.

With a 50 percent fat content, the meat is considered a delicacy by chefs. (1, last) While some speculate the Mangalitsa's meat could serve as the world's best bacon ever, others are more amazed by the appearance of the pigs.

Described as a cross between a pig and a sheep, the animal has the body and face of a typical pig weighing 300 pounds. However it's the coat that garners attention, making onlookers do a double take. The animal has wool-like fur.

The Mangalitsa is a real animal, not genetically engineered in any way. They have absolutely no sheep Dna in them.

They are predominantly found in Austria and Hungary, so that heavy coat keeps them warm during the frigid European winters."

Thanks to GeoBeats News!


Burglar Breaks Off Door Lock, But Fails By Pulling On The Push Open Door

Woo woo,  I'm back with a brand new computer!  Here's the story:

"A burglar was able to remove a bar's front door lock without any trouble, but when it came to getting inside, he tried repeatedly and failed. That's because he was pulling the entirely unguarded door rather than just pushing it open.

You'd be surprised how just the act of opening a door can be complicated for some people.

Take, for example, a man in Chicago who was caught on surveillance video attempting to break into a bar called The Shambles.

The burglar was able to remove the front door lock, by using his tool, without any trouble, but when it came to getting inside, he tried repeatedly and failed.

The problem wasn't another undetected lock. It was the fact that he was pulling the entirely unguarded door rather than just pushing it open."

Saturday, January 11, 2014

My computer broke, but I'll still update when I can!

I've been saving up for a nice gaming laptop,  but still it's going to be a month or so before I get it.  My posts here will be sporadic in the meantime,  I'll try to update when I can but with work right now hitting again getting to an internet computer can be a pain.

I'll see you all soon though! <3

The Caturday Report! Leather Cat Battle Armor For Sale

To arms my fellow felines!  We must destroy the rat hoards!!

"100% wearable, flexible, and comfortable, the Cat Battle Armor is a for-reals armor harness for your kitty. Completely hand-made from durable veg-tan leather, this is no mere costume piece. Your cat will become an unstoppable force for slaughter in this fully articulated suit, shielding him/her from foes while allowing unimpeded movement across the battlefield or living room floor. The imposing torso section features several riveted, articulated plates and a terrifying rack of dorsal spines. Your cat's hindquarters are sheathed beneath exquisitely arrayed overlapping scales stitched to a soft leather backing, adorned with nickel silver dome rivets. Midnight black scales and plates are finished with a glossy protective coat and seamlessly join together like the petals of a deadly flower. Adjustable at the collar with elastic and two nickel silver buckles, and at the belly with grommeted corset-style lacing for a secure, comfortable fit."

Buy it HERE

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Teen Throws Boiling Water Into Girl's Face For Unfriending Him On Facebook

"The teen allegedly shoved the girl’s mother out of the way and dumped hot water on the girl's face.

Following the incident, the 15-year-old girl was treated for burns across 20 percent of her face. After being hospitalized for treatment, her condition was stabilized and she is expected to recover.

The alleged assailant, Yudhisthir Yadav, is an undergraduate student at a government college in Muzaffarpur.

"My father is a teacher and he (the accused) used to come for tuitions to our home. I accepted his friend request a year ago because I found him decent then," the girl said. "But of late he had become abusive and so I ‘unfriended’ him last week.”

Beware Of Exploding Artichokes

 So much for pineapple grenades

"The unnamed victim bought some fresh artichokes from her local supermarket in Olginate, some 40km northeast of Milan. When she laid into one with a knife, it went bang. Initially struck dumb by the shock, the poor woman appealed to her husband and daughter for assistance, and when they saw the leaves were "damaged and burnt", they called in the cops.

The supermarket pulled remaining stocks of the potentially volatile vegetable, while police probe a possible link to previous incidents.

La Repubblica notes that artichoke explosions occurred in 2003 and 2008 - the latter in the province of L'Aquila, which was at first though to be a "Unabomber-style attack".

However, it appears a chemical reaction provoked by fertilisers may be the explanation"


Saturday, January 4, 2014

Bomb Squad Removes Dildo From Downtown Street

What happens when someone leaves a dildo wrapped in black electrical tape on a street in San Luis Obispo? Roads are closed and it is removed by the bomb task force robot.

On New Year’s Eve, a pedestrian spotted the unusually wrapped dildo on Chorro Street near Pismo Street and called the San Luis Obispo Police Department. Officers arrived, closed streets in a one block radius and called in the bomb squad.

The bomb task force robot, Andros, put the dildo in a containment vessel and drove it to a secure location.


The Caturday Report! Cat Defends People From Alligators

'The guard cat is protecting us from the evil, hungry alligators. New Orleans."

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Man Stole The Brains Of Dead Mental Patients, Sold Them On Ebay

"Authorities say David Charles, a 21-year-old Indianapolis resident, is accused of breaking into the Indiana Medical History Museum multiple times last year and stealing jars of human brain tissue and other preserved material. A tipster who paid hundreds of dollars on the online auction site helped bring the organ entrepreneurism to an end.

The museum is the site of the former Central State Hospital, which served patients with psychiatric and mental disorders from 1848 to 1994. Indianapolis police had investigated several break-ins at the museum's storage facility before a California phone call led police to Charles."

Read all about it HERE

Drunk Priest Runs Over Parishioner After Church

Drunk priest

A drunken priest is facing 12 years in prison after running over a parishioner in his car as she walked home from his church service.

Katarzyna Pawlak, 41, from Lowicza, Poland, was taken to hospital with concussion after being hit after attending Mass.

A spokesman for the priest's diocese said: "With great regret and deep sorrow we received the news about the accident in which the victim was a woman hit by a car being driven by a priest after drinking alcohol.

"This situation deserves condemnation and never should have happened. Priests have to follow the same laws as everyone else. He should not drive a a car after drinking."


Judge Lets Church Keep Trash Bag Full Of Cash

Bin-bag /Rex

A church in York has received a £100,000 windfall, after a court ruled it could keep a bin-bag full of cash left on a doorstep.

The bag was found in the city's Haxby Road in August, prompting a police investigation, reports the York Press.

Detectives suspected it was linked to crime but found no evidence of that and the money has now been awarded to the St Thomas with St Maurice Church which owns the property where it was found.

Eleanor Course, from the Diocese of York, said the church would use the money in the local community.

She said: "It's great news for the church".

A hearing was held at York Magistrates Court to decide what should happen to the money, and it was awarded to the church council.

St Thomas with St Maurice has yet to decide how to use the money but Ms Course said: "It will be spent to continue the work of the church in the community."


Stranded Pair Of Dingbats Torch Their Car To Stay Warm

One way to stay toasty

"Pincher Creek RCMP said the pair were travelling home to Lethbridge, Alta., from Crowsnest Pass, Alta., overnight Saturday when they got lost on country roads east of Pincher Creek, eventually losing control and ending up in a ditch.

With overnight temperatures dropping to around -15 C and fearing for their safety, the duo removed the crashed vehicle's seats and lit them on fire in the middle of the road, along with all of their personal belongings.

When that fire went out, the two men decided to set their car alight.

"They actually had two fires going," RCMP Cpl. Jeffrey Feist said.

"Their car was completely consumed by fire. They lit their car on fire, because they thought they were going to freeze to death."

In the morning, the two men discovered that they were within easy walking distance of a nearby house and set off to find help.

Rising smoke from the burned-out hulk attracted the attention of a passerby, who called 911.

Feist said both men had cellphones.

The pair were taken to hospital where they were treated and released for minor burn and frostbite. One was arrested on outstanding warrants."