Monday, October 27, 2014

Woman Eats A 7 Pound 8,000 Calorie Breakfast

Man has conquered Mt. Everest, Antarctica, the bottom of the ocean and even the Moon, but never a 7-pound (3.17-kilogramme) breakfast so impressive that diners at the Bear Grills café have to sign a waiver before attempting to eat it. But now a woman has.

Emma Dalton became the first person to eat "the Hibernator,” which boasts a heart-stopping 8,000 calories. She was able to down eight pieces of bacon, eight sausages, four hash browns, four fried eggs, a four-egg cheese omelette, four waffles, four pieces of toast, four pieces of fried bread, four pieces of black pudding, two ladles of beans, two ladles of tomatoes, mushrooms, fries and a two-pint milkshake in under an hour, winning £100 ($160.72; €127.30) for her courage in the face of such a caloric colossus.

Ms. Dalton should probably see a doctor or a particle physicist, as clearly there is a black hole where her stomach should be.

Are These The Scariest Jack-O-Lanterns In The World?

Spooky-looking pumpkins from our worst nightmares were the starring attraction in Laguna Beach, California, as sculptor Jon Neill carved the orange gourds into horrific Halloween-inspired designs. Scary as his carvings were, he claimed they weren’t as “psychotic” as what he normally creates.

We shudder to think of what those creations look like.

Thief Steals Giant Inflatable Cat, Caught On Tape

Surveillance footage from a home in Texas recently captured someone swiping a huge inflatable Halloween cat.

In the weeks leading up to Halloween, many front lawns showcase scary décor items. Unfortunately those pieces can often attract thieves.

Surveillance footage from a home in Texas recently captured someone swiping a huge inflatable Halloween cat. The man walked right up to the cat and powered off the fan that was supplying air to it.

After the inflatable fell on its side, the suspect leaned on it and pushed in an effort to get the remaining air out. This wasn’t a quick, two-second type of effort.

It took him some time to get the decoration mostly deflated and he was working right in the victim’s front yard. Once he finally made it somewhat manageable, the male walked off the cat, which is at least twice his own size.

The theft occurred on Thursday, October 9th, at approximately 11:30 at night. The male homeowner didn’t notice his massive Halloween cat was missing until the following morning.

The victim wasn’t sure what happened until he checked surveillance footage and watched as his own inflatable was stolen. The suspect has not yet been identified or caught.

It is known that the burglar drove a white SUV up to the front yard at the time of the theft.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Horrible Clowns Attack Girls With Dildos

"According to the lawsuit, Janito, her daughter and three other minors drove to the haunted house on Oct. 11.

They were met in the parking lot by two men dressed as clowns and holding sex toys who began to harass the group, according to the suit.

One employee, Robert Keller, used a sex toy to poke the 17-year-old; the other employee, identified in the suit as John Doe, simulated a sex act with the toy while Keller made repeated lewd and offensive remarks to Janito and the girl. All four left the grounds without buying tickets, the suit states.

"The acts committed by Keller and John Doe were beyond the standards of civilized decency and beyond the scope of what society is willing to tolerate," the lawsuit stated."

 Read more HERE

Drunk Trombone Playing Clown Fires Gun From Garage

"Police arrested a 54-year-old man after he was allegedly seen wearing camouflage pants and a clown mask, shooting a gun at a can in the street.

Grand Traverse County sheriff's deputies said the man also was seen playing a trombone at one point, all the while as he stood in a garage.

The man, described as intoxicated, was arrested for a personal protection order violation. No one was hurt and the gun turned out to be a pellet gun."

Personal protection order violation?  That's a new one on me.  Read more HERE

Zombie Proof Log Cabins For Sale, Get One Today!

Me want!

"Allow me to introduce the Zombie Fortification Cabin (aka, ZFC-1), a three-compartment compound from Tiger Log Cabins that will allow you to safely ride out the end-of-the-world in comfort. In the initial $113,000 package, you'll find all of the materials needed to impress your friends and worry your neighbors, including: an upper deck with escape hatch, barbed wire, a garden section to grow food, toilet system, weight machines, kitchen with microwave, a record player (zombies hate analog), and an Xbox with Plasma TV.
Additional options include solar panels ($5,600), security cameras ($3,000), and the satisfaction of watching someone else build and install the thing ($21,000). For an undisclosed price, water cannons, spotlights, and flame throwers can also be installed. (I particularly like the flame thrower option in the garage because, why not!?)"

McDonalds Serves Man A Half Eaten Sausage McBiscuit

"Oh the humanity!"

"Don Richardson ordered a sausage biscuit sandwich Oct. 4 at a local McDonald's on his way to see Mississippi State play Texas A&M.

What he received was an English muffin, buttered and covered in jelly — and several bites taken out of it.

"I was driving, hurrying to get to an 11 (a.m.) game and nearly bit into it before I looked down and saw it," said Richardson, a Madison resident who is a former clerk of the Mississippi House and a longtime coach and school administrator in the Jackson area. "Marie (his wife) wanted me to take it back then, but we were already several miles down the road by then and didn't want to miss kickoff."


Monday, October 20, 2014

Woman Selling Her Imaginary Friend On Ebay

In the ad, 22-year-old Londoner Georgia Horrocks explains that her invisible buddy, Bernard, manifested “at a time of emotional instability” during her childhood.

Scroll down to see a photo of Georgia’s imaginary friend. One of the creepiest photos ever

“My psychiatrist recommended that I say goodbye to Bernard, and although I would like some financial compensation it is more important that he finds a good home,” Ms Horrocks writes.
She hoped the “active” and “mischievous” Bernard would fetch as much as £200 (AUD 367), adding that he “will be sent via imagination to the winning bidder”.
The ad as it appeared shortly after Georgia posted it on eBay. 

Saturday, October 18, 2014

The Caturday Report! Cat Serial Killer Still On The Loose. 160 Cats Now Missing

Sorry for the sad Caturday Report,  but this has been going on for a while and I want to help raise awareness of it at least a bit.

"Some of the animals have returned alive but with 'torture' injuries and one had to be put down as it was hurt so badly."

“Most pet owners in Ipswich are so scared that they don’t want to let their cats outside.

“Personally, I’m very worried, not just about where they are going but what’s happening to them.
“I believe someone is harming them and whoever is doing this needs to get some psychiatric help.”


Information from the Ipswich Missing Cats FaceBook page:

"Is there a serial cat killer psycho loose in Ipswich?

So far, there have been reported cases of cat poisoning, suspected cases of animal cruelty against cats and a high number of cats reported missing. However, a definite cause has not been found. While there clearly is something bad happening to the cats in Ipswich, there is absolutely no evidence of a single serial cat killer. Do not post theories. This is not a group for amateur private detectives – we are collecting information about missing and harmed cats to assist the police in any investigations and to reunite lost cats with their owners. Any person in the group posting unfounded theories will be immediately banned. No exceptions."

"There are also reports of cats going missing in the nearby town of Stowmarket.

Louise Catchpole, 30, was devastated when her two four-month-old kittens disappeared on Sunday.
Rupert, a male tabby, returned home the following evening limping, terrified, with burnt whiskers and faeces on his body.

He had had bruises to his body where he appeared to have been kicked. Her second cat, a ginger and white called Nigella, was found on Wednesday and Louise suspects she was also taken but managed to escape unharmed.

She said: “I am so relieved to have the cats back but they are both very nervous now. I am not letting them out of my sight at the moment."

More information can be found at the IRISH MIRROR

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Creepy Vampire Grave Unearthed In Bulgaria

Nikolai Ovcharov, an archaeologist nicknamed "Bulgaria's Indiana Jones," said he discovered "a vampire grave" while excavating the ruins of Perperikon, an ancient city near the border with Greece.
"We have no doubts that once again we're seeing an anti-vampire ritual being carried out," Ovcharov told The Telegraph.

He said the skeleton, believed to be a man between the ages of 40 and 50, had a heavy iron stake hammered into his chest after his death to prevent him from rising from the grave.

"Often they were applied to people who had died in unusual circumstances -- such as suicide," Ovcharov said of anti-vampire rituals.

Bozhidar Dimitrov, head of the National History Museum in Sofia, said about 100 medieval "vampire" skeletons have been found in Bulgaria.

Horror In Bali - Spider Burrows Into Man, Spends Three Days Tunneling Inside Of Him


West Australian man Dylan Thomas may now be joking about whether he'll develop "superpowers" but on the weekend he was experiencing a "searing sensation" as a spider that had made its way into his abdomen through an old appendix scar, crawled underneath his skin, all the way up to his sternum.

Dylan Thomas had a spider crawl underneath his skin.

He told Radio 6PR about the experience.

"It wasn't really a tickling sensation, obviously once the venom started to affect my skin it was a really burning sensation like a searing feeling," he said.

Mr Thomas said he believed the spider had burrowed into his abdomen on Friday night as he noticed a mark on his stomach on Saturday morning that continued to worsen.

The mark the spider left on Thomas' trunk.
An initial visit to a doctor on Sunday saw him diagnosed as having been bitten by an insect and sent away with antihistamines.

Mr Thomas spent another day with the arachnid tunneling inside of him, before going to a hospital.
"Well after running tests and putting things inside my stomach they finally found out it was a tropical spider that's been living inside of me for the last 3 days, managed to get it out luckily," he told his Facebook friends.

Two doctors who initially assessed him "had no idea" what was causing the marks on Mr Thomas's skin until they called in a specialist dermatologist.

The spider was eventually removed with tweezers. It was dead when pulled out.
Mr Thomas said the experience had ruined his first trip to Bali.

Man Wakes Up In Dainty Pink Underwear After Colonoscopy, Sues Hospital For Mental Anguish

"Thanks Obamacare!"

"Andrew Walls of Dover filed the civil lawsuit in New Castle County Superior Court against the Delaware Surgery Center on Friday. It seeks unspecified damages.

A spokeswoman for the surgery center declined to comment on the case.

Walls’ attorney, Gary Nitsche, wrote in the lawsuit that his client suffered severe emotional stress and mental anguish after waking up from a colonoscopy on Oct. 12, 2012, to find he was wearing pink women’s underwear. Walls says he had not been wearing the underwear before being given anesthesia for the procedure."


Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Meet Blossom, The Worlds Tallest Cow

An Illinois cow standing at 6 feet, 4 inches has been dubbed the world's tallest by Guinness World Records, her owner said.

Patty Hanson of Orangeville said she received word from Guinness that her cow, Blosom, has been dubbed the world's tallest cow and will be featured in the 2016 Book of World Records.
Hanson said Blosom has a special job on her farm.

"She's here and even though she couldn't have a calf like with most cows, she does have a purpose. She's the official greeter to the farm," Hanson said.

Walmart Madness #155! Man Has Sex With Stuffed Horse Inside Walmart

A Florida man today took a stuffed animal off a Walmart shelf and then used the toy to masturbate before returning the ejaculate-covered item to a store shelf, police report.

The repulsive episode occurred around 3 PM at a Walmart in Brooksville, a city 50 miles north of Tampa.

According to a police report, Sean Johnson, 19, “selected a brown, tan, and red stuffed horse from the clearance shelf in the garden department.” He then went to the comforter aisle in the housewares section, “proceeded to pull out his genitals,” and “proceeded to hump the stuffed horse utilizing short fast movements.” The lewd act was captured by surveillance cameras.

After Johnson “achieved an orgasm and ejaculated on the stuffed horse’s chest area,” he placed the “soiled stuffed horse on top of a bed in a bag (comforter set) contaminating that property also.”

Read more,  plus the police report,  over at THE SMOKING GUN

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Bride Gets Pregnant By Dwarf Stripper At Her Bachelorette Party

"BOOM,  there goes the dynamite!"

A Spanish woman has been forced to confess to cheating on her husband-to-be on her hens night with a dwarf stripper after she gave birth to a baby with dwarfism.

Her husband believed the baby was his and that it had been conceived during the honeymoon but his wife confessed to the infidelity after he repeatedly questioned doctors as to how the baby could have been born with dwarfism.

The woman has not been named, but according to local reports she felt compelled to tell her husband after questions were raised by friends who had accompanied her on the hens night, which took place at the beginning of the year.

Police Hunt For Transvestite And Poop Smeared Partner

Dutch police are searching for two suspects who robbed a jeweler in the Belgian town, Hoogstraten in Antwerp province earlier this year. The two robbers have rather explicit, and unusual descriptions identified by police working in Brabant.

Police say the first suspect is a dark-skinned man dressed in woman’s clothing. The second robber is a white man who smelled of animal feces, broadcaster Omroep Brabant said. According to the police the smell was so strong that the jeweler’s daughter nearly vomited from the stench.

Hoogstraten sits just 25 kilometers south of the Dutch city Breda. In September, the 62-year-old jeweler was attacked by the two armed men, who screamed out to her daughter after she was threatened with a pistol. The daughter tried to get the gun out of the suspect’s hand when she was beaten by the duo.

The police are working under an assumption that these were Dutch robbers as the white man spoke Dutch, not Flemish, and was carrying an Albert Heijn bag. They also drove a blue Audi A3 with license plates that were reported stolen in the Netherlands in 2013.

Police are investigating a possible connection between the Belgian robbery and a home invasion in Eindhoven on October 2 where a 54-year-old resident was injured. The incident happened around 3:30 p.m. on Merwedestraat, when two offenders jumped a fence, broke into the home and assaulted the woman.

She was painting at the time, and the suspects are said to have been covered in white paint by the time they fled the scene in their small, dark-coloured Ford.


Monday, October 13, 2014

Woman Named BOO Gets Killed In Her Sleep By Pumpkin Hauling Truck

(Nope,  I'm not making this up)

"Neighbors clustered along the edges of McGavock Pike Wednesday, sharing photos and shaking their heads as they peered at the aftermath of a horrific tractor-trailer crash that claimed the life of a woman who was asleep in her bed.

In whispers, they tried to piece together the sequence of events that led an 18-wheeler hauling 40,000 pounds of pumpkins to veer across the two-lane roadway and break through the brick facade of a modest house near the intersection with Kimberly Drive in Donelson. The semi slammed into Carol Boo's bedroom around 3:30 a.m.

Boo, 66, was dead by the time police arrived at the scene.

Her husband, who was sleeping in the adjoining bedroom, wasn't hurt. Neither was her 35-year-old son, who was in another part of the house."

 Read the whole story HERE

3 Inch Long Leech Makes A Home Inside Young Lady's Nose

(Turns out the leech was just hoping for a cocaine fix)

Mr. Curly. That's the name Daniela Liverani gave to the 3-inch leech that doctors found living in her nostril last week. With that tone of creepiness established, we can now provide more details to a story that might have you giving the old schnozz a closer look the next time you see a mirror.

It took a medical team about 30 minutes to remove the leech; Liverani believes it had been living in there for about a month.

Four weeks might seem like a long time to have a not-small leech living in one's nostril. But Liverani, who lives in Glasgow, tells BBC Radio Scotland that she initially thought the invader was a clump of clotted blood, the result of a motorcycle crash she had while traveling in Vietnam.

Liverani, 24, had nosebleeds; her attempts to get the foreign object out of her nose failed. She says the best clues that she had an animal, not a blood clot, in her nose came in the shower. Here's her description:
"Obviously my nasal passages would open up because of the steam and the heat and the water, and it would come out quite far, about as far as my lip.
"So I could kind of see it out of the corner of my eye but still didn't think it was a worm because it just looked like a blood clot.
"On Thursday I jumped out the shower and I unsteamed the mirror and I had a proper good look, and I could see little ridges on him."

Read more about the leeching nose leech over at NPR

Giant Squid Attacks Submarine

(Nemo would know what to do)

The video was released by Greenpeace on Vine and shows the squid spinning around and squirting black ink at the sub.

The shocked crew pointed a light at the squid to try and scare it away. The squid continued to thrash around and whip the sub with its tentacles.

The incident occurred in the Bering Sea which is between Russia and Alaska although it is unclear when exactly it happened.

The squid apparently swam away unharmed and did not cause any damage to the submarine.

The only details accompanying the video was a message that said: “It’s a squid attacking a submarine during a #BeringSea expedition with @GreenpeaceUSA!


Sunday, October 12, 2014

Man Upset Over The Death Of His Cat Goes On Veterinary Clinic Stabbing Spree

Charles Anthony Smith, 57, of Bellingham, blamed veterinarians for the cat’s deteriorating health and eventual death, said Bellingham Detective Sgt. Mike Scanlon. The cat was briefly treated at Fountain Veterinary Hospital for urinary tract problems about a month ago. Smith learned another clinic in town, Maplewood Animal Hospital, specializes in urinary problems so he started taking the cat there. Then, earlier this week, the cat died, Scanlon said.

Smith walked into the animal hospital at 2869 W. Maplewood Ave., around 8:15 a.m. Thursday. He whipped out a steak knife and stabbed at one of the veterinarians, a woman in her 20s, Scanlon said. She suffered a cut to one of her thumbs and a small wound to her upper chest but didn’t need emergency treatment. The vet tore the knife away from Smith and escaped to the back of the building.

Smith pulled out a second knife, Scanlon said, and brandished it at front desk workers as he fled the building, shouting something to the effect of, “You need to leave!”

He hopped into his white pickup and drove off. About 10 minutes later, the same white truck rolled up to the other clinic at 2430 Meridian St. in the Fountain District. Smith walked inside Fountain Veterinary Hospital and, without saying a word, stabbed one of the employees in the neck, according to police. The puncture wound, just above the woman's collarbone, near her trachea, wasn’t critical. Someone called 911. By the time police arrived, Smith had driven away again.

Police phoned vet clinics throughout the city, warning them of the stabbing spree, as they searched for Smith or his pickup.

An officer pulled over the westbound truck at 8:44 a.m. at East Bakerview and James Street roads. Smith surrendered. He confessed to the stabbings, police said, and claimed he’d been on his way to the police station to turn himself in.

“He decided the (doctors) were either at fault, or they needed to … to pay for it, for lack of a better way of saying it,” Scanlon said.


Read more here:

Man Breaks Into Shed For Teddy Bear Sex

A randy burglar was caught after he had sex with a teddy bear while raiding a shed - and police discovered his DNA inside the toy.

Paul Mountain, 38, said he was coming down from amphetamines and felt an 'overwhelming need' for sexual relief, the Lancashire Telegraph reports.

It is believed he cut a hole inside the defenceless bear before getting down to business.

Blackburn Magistrates Court heard that the owner of an allotment found a shed had been broken into and the contents were spread all around.

On the floor among the wreckage she found the teddy bear - used and abused.

Prosecutor, Domenic Howells said: "The teddy bear was passed to the police and semen found inside came back to this defendant.

"He told officers he was coming down off amphetamine and felt overwhelming need for sexual relief."


Saturday, October 11, 2014

The Caturday Report! Homing Cat Cleo Finds Her Missing Human

Nancy and her homing cat Cleo

"If home is where your heart is, then Cleo the cat definitely belongs with her owner Nancy Cowen.

Several weeks ago, the fluffy feline was separated from Cowen when the elderly woman was moved from her home in Westcott, England, into the Bramley House Residential Home in the same town.

Somehow the cat, who was left in the care of a neighbor, found her way to the nursing home – where she had never been before – presumably in an attempt to find her beloved owner.

Bramley House employee Laura Costello told the Dorking and Leatherhead Advertiser, which first reported the sweet story, "About two weeks after Nancy moved in, this cat just started turning up and sleeping on the benches outside the home. It was very strange."

Staff at the home became friendly with the kitty, whose identity wouldn't be revealed until Cowen spotted the cat hanging out around the grounds a few weeks later.

"One of the other carers picked her up one day, and Nancy said, 'That cat looks like my cat,' " Costello recalled. "Then she said, 'But my cat lost part of her tail in a traffic accident.' The carer looked at the cat she was holding and realized part of its tail was missing. Then Nancy's sister came 'round and said she definitely was Cleo."

Clearly inseparable, Cowen and Cleo will now stay together at the facility, where staff have agreed to care for the cat and find her a home in the future if she needs one. For now, everyone is curious about how exactly Cleo found her way there.

"I have no idea how she's found her," Bramley House employee Fiona Collins told the Advertiser. "It's quite spooky in a way." 

Friday, October 10, 2014

Protip! Never Yell "I HAVE EBOLA, YOU ARE ALL SCREWED!" On A Crowded Airliner

"A US Airways flight from Philadelphia to Punta Cana, in the Dominican Republic, was held upon landing yesterday after a sneezing passenger joked about having been to Africa. 

"I have Ebola, you are all screwed," the 54-year-old man said, according to the Dominican news site Diario Libre. Fox News reported he also screamed, "I've been to Africa!" 

The director of operations of the airport in Punta Cana confirmed a medical team boarded the plane in hazmat suits and took the passenger to a separate medical health area, where he was examined and found not to have the lethal disease. The Ministry of Public Health also confirmed the scare was a false alarm."

"Once we landed in Punta Cana we were told by the flight attendants that there was a situation and that a passenger may have been in Africa and had Ebola. She was certain it was a hoax but they did not take any chances and had a full hazmat crew board the plane and take the passenger off. It was later confirmed that the passenger was never in Africa and after 2hrs we were finally able to get off the plane."

Grease Fire Burns Up Crematorium When They Try To Cremate 800 Pound Body

(Note the Chicken McNuggets sign)

"The body was so obese that the actual body fat came off and went straight up the sack and hit the roof material, the rubber roof we have up there and that's what made it go up like it did…It was no negligence involved in it. My guys, we did all we could. 

Once it started, the grease hit the roof and started the fire, the only thing we could do is dial 911 and get the fire department here,” Hendrix said. 

Three people were inside of the plant at the time of the fire. All were able to get out unharmed.

There were also three bodies on site at the time of the fire, but the manager says none were damaged in the process.

Later on Wednesday afternoon the crematorium received the go-ahead to resume cremating the body. The family was not present during the cremation, Hendrix said.
The business will be closed for a few days to repair damage to the roof and furnace.
He said the facility is known across Virginia for handling large people."

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Arrested Couple Have Sex In Cop Car

Travis Husnik, 33, of Luxemburg, Wis., and Heather Basten, 29, of New Franken, Wis., were being transported Aug. 3 to Oconto County Jail after a traffic stop when they began having sex in the back seat. The deputy stopped the car, told Husnik to pull his pants back up, then put Husnik in the front seat.

"What do I sentence a guy who has sex in squad car to?" asked county Circuit Court Judge Jay Conley during a Sept. 24 sentencing. "It's not like you have a lot of law-school courses or training on what do you sentence a guy who has sex in a squad car to."

Assistant District Attorney Robert Mraz asked Conley to sentence Husnik to time served of nine days, the amount of time he was held until posting $1,500 bond.

"You would hope people would have more self-respect for themselves and have a better character than to do this behavior in the manner in which this defendant and his female friend did," Mraz told Conley.


Invasion By 6,000 Brown Recluse Spiders Run Family Out Of Half Million Dollar Home

Covering the infested home

"Susan Trost testified she was walking through her new home, exploring it on her first day there, when she noticed a large, stringy web wrapped around one of the light fixtures.

It hadn’t been there on the walk-through date.

Neither had the webs in the bar area in the basement. In the kitchen, she tugged on a piece of loose wallpaper, and a spider skittered behind it.

She thought the home probably just needed a thorough cleaning, so she got to work.

In the following days, she saw spiders and their webs every day. They were in the mini blinds, the air registers, the pantry ceiling, the fireplace. Their exoskeletons were falling from the can lights. Once when she was showering, she dodged a spider as it fell from the ceiling and washed down the drain.
A month after living in the home, her 4-year-old son screamed frantically from the basement, and Trost saw a spider, about the size of a half dollar, inches from his foot.

Instead of smashing it, Trost trapped it in a plastic bag and looked it up on the Internet. It was a brown recluse.

Trost testified she contacted a pest control company that came in on a weekly basis, spraying the interior and exterior and setting down sticky traps.

Since brown recluse spiders often live behind walls, she hired someone to come in and remove drywall so the exterminator could spray behind it.

She hired another company to remove the insulation from the attic and put down a pesticide powder.
“After the attic treatment, it seemed to help for quite a while, although we were still capturing them,” she testifiedd. “It just was a decline; they weren’t gone.”

 At a jury trial in St. Charles County in October 2011, Jamel Sandidge, a biology professor at the University of Kansas, described the brown recluse problem at the Trost home as “immense,” between 4,500 and 6,000 spiders.

Most troubling was the fact, Sandidge testified, that those calculations were made in the wintertime, when the spiders are least active."

This is a story about how they got majorly screwed by State Farm Insurance as well. Go here for the rest of the story:

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Floating Bicycle "Superhighway" Proposed For London Cyclists

The streets of London are often crowded, making it difficult for cyclists to maneuver through the traffic. But now a group called the River Cycleway Consortium Ltd. made up of engineers, artists, and architects have proposed the solution of building a floating highway for bicycles along the River Thames.

The streets of London are often crowded, making it difficult for cyclists to maneuver through the traffic.

But now a group called the River Cycleway Consortium has proposed a solution which entails building a floating highway for bicycles along the River Thames.

The Consortium released a statement saying: "The river Thames, London’s main transportation thoroughfare from Roman times up to the 19th century, is overlooked today as a major travel artery except for a handful of passenger boats."

The project would reportedly cost around 960 million dollars, which would be covered by private investors and could be recouped by charging people the equivalent of around two dollars and forty cents for a single ticket.

There are still a few issues with the floating highway idea that need to be solved.

Obstacles like the HMS Belfast, a museum inside of a sunken battleship on the river, along with conditions like storms or waves might be cause for safety concerns.

The announcement of the project also says that the floating bike path will be able to generate its own power harnessing wind, solar, and tidal energy.

Love Beer? Beer Jelly Is A Thing Now!

Add Spam for an even tastier treat! :D

"Italian firm Alta Quotta said Birra Spalmabile, which comes in two varieties, does not contain any alcohol, but it is composed of 40 percent beer and translates the familiar brewski flavor into a paste that "spreads like ganache" with a "sticky, smooth texture."

The company said the product, which is available to order in the United States through website Firebox, is recommended for pairing with "appetizers and cheeses." Alta Quotta said the ale butter would be ideal to "decorate or fill" pastries, cakes and ice creams."

Monday, October 6, 2014

Get Scroguard! For The Times When Just Wearing A Condom Simply Won't Do.

"Scroguard™ is impermeable to genital secretions and can be worn as a standalone product, or you can put it on underneath your favorite pair of boxers.

Football players wear protective pads so they can play harder. Skiers wear helmets so they can go faster. Soldiers wear armor so they can excel in battle. Men wear Scroguard™ so they can enjoy sex to the fullest, while reducing skin-to-skin contact.

We made Scroguard™ lightweight and comfortable so that it doesn’t interfere with your pleasure. Less worry. More fun. That’s our mission."

Learn more about Scroguard at their website,

Lonely? Need A Hug? Then Get The New "Tranquility Chair!"

(It's not creepy at all!)

"There are times in everyone’s life when only a hug will do. Now one Japanese company has come up with a chair that’s always ready to give a comforting cuddle.

The “tranquility chair” is built in the shape of a larger-than-life fabric doll with a friendly face and a fetching hat, but more importantly, it has long arms that wrap around the user in an affectionate embrace.

“It makes you feel safe. Anyone can use it, but it is designed for older people,” said a spokesman for UniCare, which is selling the chair, at the International Home Care and Rehabilitation Exhibition in Tokyo.

Around a quarter of Japan’s population is over the age of 65, a figure expected to rise to 40 percent in the coming decades.

The chair is priced at ¥46,000 ($419) and there is also a version adapted for wheelchair users."


And while you are at it,  get a lap pillow to comfort you on those lonely nights full of tears of rejection!

Saturday, October 4, 2014

The Caturday Report! Timmy The Vampire Cat Had A Hard Time Finding A Human

(Not Timmy,  I just loved the photo ;))

Timmy, a nine-year-old black cat, has an enormous pair of front teeth which stick out of his mouth like a vampire.

The nine-year-old moggy was taken into the Blue Cross rehoming centre in Lewknor, Oxfordshire, around three months ago. 

There were fears he might never find a home because of his bloodthirsty look, with most cats finding owners within a month. 

But 'affectionate' and 'loving' Timmy has finally been taken in by cat-lover Ann Drummond.

She said: 'We saw him on the Blue Cross website and thought he looked and sounded great.
'His fangs didn’t put us off at all - he’s the sweetest, friendliest cat.

'Our previous cat had one fang so he reminded us of her. Timmy’s such a character and we love him to bits.' 

Black cats are notoriously difficult to rehome thanks to myths and superstition that they bring bad luck.

Timmy was facing the prospect of a lonely existence, having been returned to Blue Cross at no fault of his own on four separate occasions.

Friday, October 3, 2014

Man Quits Job To Roll A Giant Testical Across America

(This dude has a lot of ball)

Thomas Cantley, 31, survived testicular cancer, sold his house and left his job to push a six-foot replica testicle from Santa Monica to New York.

His journey is being catalogued in a series of Instagram photos under the name "mr.ballsy."

Cantley's trek has so far taken him 1,680 miles from LA to Texas, according to KENS 5. His goal is to fill the giant ball with messages from people he meets.

He recently rolled through Austin, where he was seen pushing the giant ball across the Anne W. Richards Congress Bridge.

Other pictures have him visiting a number of other famous locations along the way.

Cantley's website claims the trip is being funded by the "generosity of the people he meets along the way, whether they have a personal connection with cancer or simply believe in his cause."

The cancer survivor is currently in New Orleans, according to his Twitter.

He plans to be in New York within the next couple of weeks.

Will he take the bridge or the tunnel? Follow him to find out.


Man Inflates Stolen Bouncy Castle Outside His Home, Somehow Gets Caught

"No one will notice!"

A 39 year-old Derry man who bought a large stolen bouncy castle worth £5,000 was caught by police after he inflated it outside his own home.

Patrick Coyle, of Cashel Hill, was charged with handling stolen property in the Republic of Ireland. The offence took place on August 2, 2014.

The court heard that on that date, police received a report of a stolen bouncy castle worth £5,000 that had been stolen in Co Donegal.

Police then found the bouncy castle ‘fully inflated’ outside Coyle’s home with electric cables and a pump running from his house to power it.


Potato Roots Grow Out Of A Womans Vagina

(The root of the problem)

A 22-year-old woman placed a potato in her vagina after her mother told her it was a fail proof contraceptive method.


After experiencing pain in her abdominal area, the Columbian woman went to a local hospital to get help.

Embarrassed, she told nurses she had put a potato into her vagina two weeks ago, because she was advised it would prevent pregnancy. According to, the potato germinated and grew roots. The nurse who attended to the woman found the roots had visibly emerged from her vagina. The potato was eventually removed, non surgically.


Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Nine Pound Hairball Removed From Girl's Stomach

Think your cat's hairballs are bad?

"Ayperi Alekseeva, 18, was admitted to hospital after being unable to eat or drink, before doctors decided to operate.

When doctors realised there was a blockage they performed emergency surgery - and removed a hairball weighing almost 4kg (8.8lbs).

Doctors said the girl - who had a habit of chewing the tips of her hair, and eating hair she picked up from the carpet - would have died if she hadn’t had the operation."

"Professor Bebezov said: 'The parents brought her in after she started losing weight, and she couldn't eat anything. By the time we got her she could not even drink water. We realised we needed to operate immediately.

'It was actually the only alternative, nothing else would solve the problem. In fact her stomach was so badly swollen from hair and bits of wool from the carpet that it literally just oozed out soon as the wall of the stomach was cut."

10,000 Doves Anal Probed To Check For Explosives And Poison Gas

"Coo Coo Scroo Yooo!"

The 10,000 doves released in a ceremony Wednesday for China's National Day underwent unusual scrutiny, each having its feathers and anus checked for dangerous materials, state-run media reports said, reflecting government jitters over possible attacks.

The symbols of peace were released at sunrise in Beijing's symbolic heart of Tiananmen Square in a ceremony for the Oct. 1 holiday to celebrate the 65th anniversary of the founding of the People's Republic of China.

 "The liberty and dignity of citizens are increasingly vulnerable, and can be expropriated at any time, like with the pigeons," Zhang wrote. "They have to go through the pains and insults of the rude anal check and yet they must appear peaceful and happy on the screen of the state broadcaster."

:D  Read much more HERE

Hot Air Balloon Flies In A Cave

(Reminds me of Journey To The Center Of The Earth)

"Ivan Trifonov, a seventy-year-old Austrian with a Croatian passport, was the first man to try, and succeed in flying a hot-air balloon underground.

This experienced hot-air balloon pilot is already a proud holder of 4 Guinness records, and flying into the Mamet Cave, touching it's bottom and successfully flying out of the Cave is likely to be his fifth record, since no-one has ever done such a thing before.

The inspiration of Trifonov's adventure was the famous Jules Verne's visionary book 'Journey to the Center of the Earth'. "

^  I guess I was right. :)

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Teller Asks Bank Robber To Show Two Forms Of ID For The Cash - He Does

"Look if you don’t want to die then you should do as this note says. This is not a bag of food. This is a bom, so just put money in an envelope and do not make any move till after I have left for ten mintis."

Nathan Wayne Pugh didn't intend to take money out of the bank legally, but he did wait around long enough to show two forms of identification before he tried to rob a Wells Fargo Bank branch in Dallas. 
 When Pugh, 49, tried to rob the bank last July, the teller stalled and told him he needed to show two types of ID. Pugh complied, producing his Wells Fargo debit card, and his Texas state ID card.
He still tried to flee with $800, but got caught.

Pugh pleaded guilty to the robbery in October.  A federal judge Tuesday sentenced him to more than eight years. Prosecutors say he was on parole for two aggravated robberies at the time of the Wells Fargo caper.

His new sentence runs consecutive with a pair of 25-year terms for the previous robberies. 

Tetris The Movie Will Soon Be Coming To A Theater Near You

Next will be a long piece :(

Threshold Entertainment has teamed up with the Tetris Company to develop a live-action film based on the game. While no directors or cast are attached to the film yet, there is a story in place.

“It’s a very big, epic sci-fi movie,” Threshold’s CEO Larry Kasanoff tells Speakeasy exclusively. “This isn’t a movie with a bunch of lines running around the page. We’re not giving feet to the geometric shapes.”

Kasanoff’s best known for adapting the “Mortal Kombat” games to the big screen – 1995’s “Mortal Kombat” grossed $70 million according to Boxoffice Mojo, with the 1997 sequel, “Mortal Kombat: Annihilation,” grossing $35 million. For Threshold, they’re hoping to build off the brand’s notoriety and legacy.

Read more HERE 

Monday, September 29, 2014

The Great Vermont Pumpkin - 1,649 Pounds Of Great Pumpkin

A Jericho farmer has broken the record for the state's largest pumpkin.

The Vermont Giant Pumpkin Growers' Association Annual Giant Pumpkin Weigh off took place at Sam Mazza's Farm stand in Colchester Sunday. Richard Squires mixed a little TLC with his giant pumpkin seeds to grow a pumpkin weighing in at 1,649 pounds. The previous state record was 1,556 pounds.

"It started as a hobby about five years ago and has grown.  And you get kind of obsessed with it and want to do it a little bigger every year, so this is probably as big as I'm ever going to get," Squires said.

His wife will be carving the pumpkins for Halloween and then donating the seeds to be used to grow more giant pumpkins. But he will not be making any pumpkin pies. The record-setting fruit is 75 percent hollow.

Watch video HERE

Sunday, September 28, 2014

Man Pays Past Due Fine With Casino Winnings Just As Police Were About To Arrest Him

According to ABC, on Thursday, police in Germany said that they were in the Western city of Bochum, where they were doing routine checks at an arcade. They said they found a man there, playing a slot machine, and he had an arrest warrant.

The warrant was issued because of a previous incident the man had with police. In that incident, police say that the man was resisting them. Police informed the man that he had two options. They told him he could pay his fine, which was around $900, or he could be arrested and face 71 days in jail. The man didn't have enough money on him to pay the fine, but he continued playing the slot machine while the cops were talking to him. In the middle of the conversation, the slot machine started to flash and make sounds, indicating that the man had won a jackpot. The man ended up winning around $1,300 in cash. The 37-year-old was able to pay his fine on the spot, and he used the cash that he had just won. He was not arrested.