Love Beer? Beer Jelly Is A Thing Now!

Add Spam for an even tastier treat! :D

"Italian firm Alta Quotta said Birra Spalmabile, which comes in two varieties, does not contain any alcohol, but it is composed of 40 percent beer and translates the familiar brewski flavor into a paste that "spreads like ganache" with a "sticky, smooth texture."

The company said the product, which is available to order in the United States through website Firebox, is recommended for pairing with "appetizers and cheeses." Alta Quotta said the ale butter would be ideal to "decorate or fill" pastries, cakes and ice creams."

Read more: http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2014/10/06/Spreadable-beer-brings-booze-flavor-to-crackers/6541412614600/#ixzz3FU7EQgKe

Get Scroguard! For The Times When Just Wearing A Condom Simply Won't Do.

"Scroguard™ is impermeable to genital secretions and can be worn as a standalone product, or you can put it on underneath your favorite pair of boxers.

Football players wear protective pads so they can play harder. Skiers wear helmets so they can go faster. Soldiers wear armor so they can excel in battle. Men wear Scroguard™ so they can enjoy sex to the fullest, while reducing skin-to-skin contact.

We made Scroguard™ lightweight and comfortable so that it doesn’t interfere with your pleasure. Less worry. More fun. That’s our mission."

Learn more about Scroguard at their website,  scroguard.com

Lonely? Need A Hug? Then Get The New "Tranquility Chair!"

(It's not creepy at all!)

"There are times in everyone’s life when only a hug will do. Now one Japanese company has come up with a chair that’s always ready to give a comforting cuddle.

The “tranquility chair” is built in the shape of a larger-than-life fabric doll with a friendly face and a fetching hat, but more importantly, it has long arms that wrap around the user in an affectionate embrace.

“It makes you feel safe. Anyone can use it, but it is designed for older people,” said a spokesman for UniCare, which is selling the chair, at the International Home Care and Rehabilitation Exhibition in Tokyo.

Around a quarter of Japan’s population is over the age of 65, a figure expected to rise to 40 percent in the coming decades.

The chair is priced at ¥46,000 ($419) and there is also a version adapted for wheelchair users."

More HERE

And while you are at it,  get a lap pillow to comfort you on those lonely nights full of tears of rejection!

The Caturday Report! Timmy The Vampire Cat Had A Hard Time Finding A Human

(Not Timmy,  I just loved the photo ;))

Timmy, a nine-year-old black cat, has an enormous pair of front teeth which stick out of his mouth like a vampire.

The nine-year-old moggy was taken into the Blue Cross rehoming centre in Lewknor, Oxfordshire, around three months ago. 

There were fears he might never find a home because of his bloodthirsty look, with most cats finding owners within a month. 

But 'affectionate' and 'loving' Timmy has finally been taken in by cat-lover Ann Drummond.

She said: 'We saw him on the Blue Cross website and thought he looked and sounded great.

'His fangs didn’t put us off at all - he’s the sweetest, friendliest cat.

'Our previous cat had one fang so he reminded us of her. Timmy’s such a character and we love him to bits.' 

Black cats are notoriously difficult to rehome thanks to myths and superstition that they bring bad luck.

Timmy was facing the prospect of a lonely existence, having been returned to Blue Cross at no fault of his own on four separate occasions.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2778275/Finally-home-catula-Timmy-black-cat-enormous-vampire-like-teeth-prospective-owners-gets-new-family.html#ixzz3FBhHPAD1
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

Man Quits Job To Roll A Giant Testical Across America

(This dude has a lot of ball)

Thomas Cantley, 31, survived testicular cancer, sold his house and left his job to push a six-foot replica testicle from Santa Monica to New York.

His journey is being catalogued in a series of Instagram photos under the name "mr.ballsy."

Cantley's trek has so far taken him 1,680 miles from LA to Texas, according to KENS 5. His goal is to fill the giant ball with messages from people he meets.

He recently rolled through Austin, where he was seen pushing the giant ball across the Anne W. Richards Congress Bridge.

Other pictures have him visiting a number of other famous locations along the way.

Cantley's website claims the trip is being funded by the "generosity of the people he meets along the way, whether they have a personal connection with cancer or simply believe in his cause."

The cancer survivor is currently in New Orleans, according to his Twitter.

He plans to be in New York within the next couple of weeks.

Will he take the bridge or the tunnel? Follow him to find out.

AOL! 

Man Inflates Stolen Bouncy Castle Outside His Home, Somehow Gets Caught

"No one will notice!"

A 39 year-old Derry man who bought a large stolen bouncy castle worth £5,000 was caught by police after he inflated it outside his own home.

Patrick Coyle, of Cashel Hill, was charged with handling stolen property in the Republic of Ireland. The offence took place on August 2, 2014.

The court heard that on that date, police received a report of a stolen bouncy castle worth £5,000 that had been stolen in Co Donegal.

Police then found the bouncy castle ‘fully inflated’ outside Coyle’s home with electric cables and a pump running from his house to power it.

SOURCE

Potato Roots Grow Out Of A Womans Vagina

(The root of the problem)

A 22-year-old woman placed a potato in her vagina after her mother told her it was a fail proof contraceptive method.

 

After experiencing pain in her abdominal area, the Columbian woman went to a local hospital to get help.

Embarrassed, she told nurses she had put a potato into her vagina two weeks ago, because she was advised it would prevent pregnancy. According to Columbiareports.co, the potato germinated and grew roots. The nurse who attended to the woman found the roots had visibly emerged from her vagina. The potato was eventually removed, non surgically.

SOURCE

Nine Pound Hairball Removed From Girl's Stomach

Think your cat's hairballs are bad?

"Ayperi Alekseeva, 18, was admitted to hospital after being unable to eat or drink, before doctors decided to operate.

When doctors realised there was a blockage they performed emergency surgery - and removed a hairball weighing almost 4kg (8.8lbs).

Doctors said the girl - who had a habit of chewing the tips of her hair, and eating hair she picked up from the carpet - would have died if she hadn’t had the operation."

"Professor Bebezov said: 'The parents brought her in after she started losing weight, and she couldn't eat anything. By the time we got her she could not even drink water. We realised we needed to operate immediately.

'It was actually the only alternative, nothing else would solve the problem. In fact her stomach was so badly swollen from hair and bits of wool from the carpet that it literally just oozed out soon as the wall of the stomach was cut."

SOURCE AND MORE 

10,000 Doves Anal Probed To Check For Explosives And Poison Gas

"Coo Coo Scroo Yooo!"

The 10,000 doves released in a ceremony Wednesday for China's National Day underwent unusual scrutiny, each having its feathers and anus checked for dangerous materials, state-run media reports said, reflecting government jitters over possible attacks.

The symbols of peace were released at sunrise in Beijing's symbolic heart of Tiananmen Square in a ceremony for the Oct. 1 holiday to celebrate the 65th anniversary of the founding of the People's Republic of China.

 "The liberty and dignity of citizens are increasingly vulnerable, and can be expropriated at any time, like with the pigeons," Zhang wrote. "They have to go through the pains and insults of the rude anal check and yet they must appear peaceful and happy on the screen of the state broadcaster."

:D  Read much more HERE

Hot Air Balloon Flies In A Cave

(Reminds me of Journey To The Center Of The Earth)

"Ivan Trifonov, a seventy-year-old Austrian with a Croatian passport, was the first man to try, and succeed in flying a hot-air balloon underground.

This experienced hot-air balloon pilot is already a proud holder of 4 Guinness records, and flying into the Mamet Cave, touching it's bottom and successfully flying out of the Cave is likely to be his fifth record, since no-one has ever done such a thing before.

The inspiration of Trifonov's adventure was the famous Jules Verne's visionary book 'Journey to the Center of the Earth'. "

^  I guess I was right. :)